12 Friday Feb 2021
Posted in Funny Friday
Tags
Chuckle, Corny, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Hilarious, Laugh, Relaxation, Smile, Snicker, Weekend
A patient and psychologist were meeting for the first time.
“I think I’m a goat,” the patient tells the new doctor.
“All right,” the doctor says as he jots notes down. “And how long have you had this feeling?”
The man told him, “Ever since I was a kid.” (Get it?)
Have a great weekend, folks!
Joke Credit: The Best Joke Book (Period).
Until next time….
Dave
05 Friday Feb 2021
Posted in Funny Friday
A worried father calls the family doctor because he thinks his teen son has caught a venereal disease.
“I think he got it from the maid,” says the concerned dad, “and I’ve also been sleeping with the maid.”
“Okay,” the doctor replies calmly. “Well, when you bring him into the office, we’ll look at you as well.”
“And that’s not all,” the father continues. “I think I might have given it to his mother.”
“Oh, no!” cries the doctor. “Well, now we might all have it!”
—The Best Joke Book (Period)
Have a great Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
29 Friday Jan 2021
Posted in Funny Friday
A woman accompanies her husband to a doctor’s visit. After the checkup, the doctor calls only her into his office. “The outlook isn’t good,” he tells her.
“Your husband is under a tremendous amount of stress. If you don’t do exactly what I tell you, he may not survive to see the end of the month. Each morning, make him a nice healthy breakfast. Do the same for lunch and dinner. Always be in a pleasant mood around him and keep his spirits up. Don’t burden him with chores or stress him with the details of your day. At night, if he’s up for it, agree to any request for sexual pleasure. If you do all those things, he’ll live a long life.” On the way home, the husband asks his wife what the doctor said to her in the closed-door meeting.
She replies, “You’re going to die.”
Have a great weekend, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
22 Friday Jan 2021
Posted in Funny Friday
The president was awakened in the middle of the night by a call from the Pentagon.
“Mr. President,” the four-star general began, “I’ve got good news and bad news.”
“What’s the bad news?” the president asked.
“The country is being taken over by aliens from another planet.”
“My God,” the president said. “What’s the good news?”
“The good news is,” said the general, “they pee oil and they’ve eaten Rush Limbaugh.”
Have a great Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
15 Friday Jan 2021
Posted in Funny Friday, Uncategorized
Since we find ourselves in some very politically charged times, I figured I’d poke a little fun at government workers today, with this little joke.
How many government workers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two: One to insist that the light bulb has been taken care of and the other to screw it into a faucet. – The Best Joke Book (period).
Have a great Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
31 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
Tags
Adjustment, change, Do Nothing Day, Fun, Funny Friday, Last Day, Weekend
Howdy, folks!
I have been contemplating a move for my “do nothing day” and decided that Friday is a better day for that. Subsequently, I’ve decided to shut down my Funny Friday to accommodate this. I’ll still post random funnies that I find, but want to keep my “do nothing day” pure, so Friday has to go.
I hope everyone has a terrific Weekend.
Until next time…
Dave
24 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Courtesy Bored Panda
Enjoy your Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
17 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!” His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?” — Steve Smith
Can you hear the drum and symbols in the background? (HA!)
Have a great Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
10 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
A teacher is teaching a class, and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”
Johnny says, “None.”
The teacher asks, “Why?”
Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.”
The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”
Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?”
The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.”
Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”
Have a great Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
03 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
Two guys are walking through a game park and they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.” He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the lion saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”
Until next time…
Dave
