31 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
Tags
Adjustment, change, Do Nothing Day, Fun, Funny Friday, Last Day, Weekend
Howdy, folks!
I have been contemplating a move for my “do nothing day” and decided that Friday is a better day for that. Subsequently, I’ve decided to shut down my Funny Friday to accommodate this. I’ll still post random funnies that I find, but want to keep my “do nothing day” pure, so Friday has to go.
I hope everyone has a terrific Weekend.
Until next time…
Dave
24 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Courtesy Bored Panda
Enjoy your Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
17 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!” His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?” — Steve Smith
Can you hear the drum and symbols in the background? (HA!)
Have a great Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
10 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
A teacher is teaching a class, and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”
Johnny says, “None.”
The teacher asks, “Why?”
Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.”
The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”
Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?”
The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.”
Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”
Have a great Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
03 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
Two guys are walking through a game park and they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.” He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the lion saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”
Until next time…
Dave
26 Friday Jun 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replied, ” Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head.” The final baby walks over and says, “Duh huh guh nuh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Cinderblock.”
19 Friday Jun 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
There is a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ”Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!” Herman says, ”I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!”
Have a great Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
12 Friday Jun 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”
“That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies.
After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
Courtesy: The Laugh Factory
Have a great weekend, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
22 Friday May 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, “Jesús is watching you.” He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, “Jesús is watching you.” In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, “Was it you who said Jesús is watching me” The parrot replied, “Yes.” Relieved, the burglar asked, “What is your name?” The parrot said, “Clarence.” The burglar said, “That’s a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?” The parrot answered, “The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús.”
Courtesy: The Laugh Factory
I hope you got a good laugh out of this one. Have a great weekend, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
15 Friday May 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!” A pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam fish.'” The boy responds, “Because I caught these fish at the local dam.” The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, “I didn’t know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way.” He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later, at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, “That’s the spirit, Dad! Now pass the fucking potatoes!”
Courtesy: The Laugh Factory
Have a great Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
