Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Hot Chocolate and Viagra

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Funny, Laugh, Giggle, Friday, FriYAY, Joke, Hilarious, Snicker, Smile, Chuckle, Nurse, Hot Chocolate, Viagra

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his eighty-four-year-old father. While there he notices the nurse hand his father a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra pill.

The man asks the nurse, “Why are you doing that? At his age, what will either do for him?”

“The hot chocolate,” the nurse explains, “will help him fall asleep faster.”

“All right,” the man replies, “and what about the Viagra?”

“That keeps him from rolling out of bed.”

Joke credit: The best Joke Book (Period).

I hope all of you have a great weekend!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – 5 Quotes

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Charity, family, Feeding, Love, Mother Teresa, Selfless Service, Smile, Wikipedia

Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.

Mother Teresa

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.

Mother Teresa

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.

Mother Teresa

Peace begins with a smile.

Mother Teresa

If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.

Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa was an example of selfless service. Here is the Wikipedia link, should you like to learn more: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Teresa

Have a great day, all!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – God Complex

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Happy, Joke, Laugh, Smile, Snicker

A new patient settles comfortably onto the couch, and the psychiatrist begins his therapy session.

“I’m not aware of your exact problem,” the doctor says, “so perhaps you should start from the very beginning.”

“Of course,” replies the patient. “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth…”

Joke Courtesy: The Best Joke Book (Period).

Have a great weekend, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Hearing Things

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Hilarious, Laugh, Smile, Snicker

A patient in a mental hospital would spend his entire day with his ear pressed up against the wall. The doctor would watch this man, day after day, sit against the wall. The doctor finally decides to see what the patient is always listening to, so he puts his ear up to the wall and listens alongside the man. He hears nothing.

He turns to the mental patient and says, “I don’t hear anything coming from the wall.”

The mental patient replies, “Yeah, I know, and it’s been like that for months!”

Joke credit: The Best Joke Book (Period).

Have a great weekend, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – A Corny One

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Chuckle, Corny, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Hilarious, Laugh, Relaxation, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

A patient and psychologist were meeting for the first time.

“I think I’m a goat,” the patient tells the new doctor.

“All right,” the doctor says as he jots notes down. “And how long have you had this feeling?”

The man told him, “Ever since I was a kid.” (Get it?)

Have a great weekend, folks!

Joke Credit: The Best Joke Book (Period).

Until next time….

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – A Worried Father

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Fun, Giggle, Happy, Laugh, Relax, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

A worried father calls the family doctor because he thinks his teen son has caught a venereal disease.

“I think he got it from the maid,” says the concerned dad, “and I’ve also been sleeping with the maid.”

“Okay,” the doctor replies calmly. “Well, when you bring him into the office, we’ll look at you as well.”

“And that’s not all,” the father continues. “I think I might have given it to his mother.”

“Oh, no!” cries the doctor. “Well, now we might all have it!”

—The Best Joke Book (Period)

Have a great Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Government Workers

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Fun, Giggle, Happy, Laugh, Relax, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

Since we find ourselves in some very politically charged times, I figured I’d poke a little fun at government workers today, with this little joke.

How many government workers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two: One to insist that the light bulb has been taken care of and the other to screw it into a faucet. – The Best Joke Book (period).

Have a great Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Skydiving

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Chuckle, FriYAY, Funny, Funny Friday, Giggle, Laugh, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

Courtesy Bored Panda

Enjoy your Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Little Johnny and His Teacher

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Funny Friday, Giggle, Grin, Joke, Laugh, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

A teacher is teaching a class, and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”

Johnny says, “None.”

The teacher asks, “Why?”

Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.”

The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”

Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?”

The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.”

Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

The Laugh Factory

Have a great Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – The Praying Lion

Tags

Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny Friday, Giggle, Laugh, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

Two guys are walking through a game park and they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.” He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the lion saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”

The Laugh Factory

Until next time…

Dave