You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Courtesy Bored Panda
Enjoy your Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Skydiving
24 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
Tag Archives: Smile
Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Little Johnny and His Teacher
10 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
A teacher is teaching a class, and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”
Johnny says, “None.”
The teacher asks, “Why?”
Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.”
The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”
Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?”
The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.”
Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”
Have a great Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – The Praying Lion
03 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
Two guys are walking through a game park and they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.” He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the lion saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”
Until next time…
Dave
Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Five Cows
26 Friday Jun 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replied, ” Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head.” The final baby walks over and says, “Duh huh guh nuh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Cinderblock.”
Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Adam and Eve
05 Friday Jun 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question, and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
Courtesy: The Laugh Factory
Laughter is a wonderful thing. Take some time on Friday to laugh. To really chuckle about something. Watch a funny movie, read the comics, or check out your favorite comic on Netflix. I hope you have a terrific Friday and a great weekend!
Until next time…
Dave
Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – The Burgler and the Parrot.
22 Friday May 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, “Jesús is watching you.” He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, “Jesús is watching you.” In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, “Was it you who said Jesús is watching me” The parrot replied, “Yes.” Relieved, the burglar asked, “What is your name?” The parrot said, “Clarence.” The burglar said, “That’s a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?” The parrot answered, “The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús.”
Courtesy: The Laugh Factory
I hope you got a good laugh out of this one. Have a great weekend, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – The Old Man and his Wife.
01 Friday May 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor asks him, “So how has life been treating you?” The old man replies, “The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, he turns the light on and when I’m finished, he turns the light off.” While the old woman is with the doctor, the doctor told her what her husband said. She replied, “Damn it! The old fart’s been pissing in the icebox again!”
Courtesy the Laugh Factory
Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Send Some Clothes
24 Friday Apr 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – A 7-year-old and a 4-year-old…
20 Friday Mar 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
A 7-year-old and a 4-year-old are in their bedroom. “You know what?” says the 7-year-old, “I think it’s time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I’ll swear first, then you.” “Okay,” replies the 4-year-old. In the kitchen, when the mother asks the 7-year-old what he wants for breakfast, he answers, “I’ll have Coco Pops, bitch.” *WHACK* He goes flying out of his chair, crying his eyes out. The mother looks at the 4-year-old & sternly asks, “And what do you want?” “Dunno,” he replies, “But it won’t be fucking Coco Pops.” – Courtesy the laugh factory.
This one cracked me up. I hope you enjoyed it too. Have a great Friday!
Until next time…
Dave
Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Getting Old
13 Friday Mar 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
Tags
Chuckle, Funny Friday, Getting Old, Giggle, Grin, Laugh, Laugh Factory, Smile, Snicker
Here’s your weekly installation of humor from yours truly. I know you are working hard and I hope this adds a smile to your day.
You know you’re getting old when your wife says, “Honey, lets run upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “I can’t do both.”
Until next time…
Dave
