Tag Archives: psychology

Daily Ramblings – Motivation Monday – How Writer’s Defeat Themselves

13 Monday May 2019

Posted by in Motivation Monday

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“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.” – Vince Lombardi

I am learning more and more that writers defeat themselves in their head before they put their pen to paper. Writing is all about getting your work done and getting it out there. Some people will like it; some people will not. No one writes the perfect book. They write lots of books and a majority of people think it is good.

It’s about getting stuff done and getting it out there. I am working on a technical recruiting book and I will finish my draft this year. Then it’s off for cover design and editing. Then I’ll get it published.

For those of you who are struggling with writing your first book or doubting yourself, it’s ok. From what I have been reading, everyone does it—everyone goes through it. Just like anything else, a writing career has its rite of passage. It is writing a volume of work. It is writing for the sake of writing. It is writing every day and improving as you go. It’s the love of the art that matters. I have enjoyed writing all my life and looked forward to the day I could do it daily without worrying about other things. That is one thing I have as an advantage.

Many writers starting out like I am but have full-time jobs to worry about. Since I am retired, I have all the time in the world. I like balance and pursuing other things, but writing is something I really enjoy. I enjoy blogging. I enjoy journaling. I enjoy learning all the things other writers do and the various tools they use.

I am also enjoying connecting with other writers. I met a gal who lives in Australia who just signed a contract with a publisher a few months back. Now she’s working on book #2. It is very exciting. I also enjoy reading articles written by other writers. I recently started a subscription with Medium. It runs about $5.00 a month and it is terrific, so far. I am enjoying the advice these experienced writers have to pass along to us newbies. It is terrific.

This week will involve continuing my workout routine, KETO diet, writing schedule for this blog, my journaling, and my book writing. It will also involve continuing to take my online courses, programming work, and a book discussion class tomorrow afternoon at 4 PM. It will be a great week!

Well, I hope all of you have a terrific week. Your goals are within reach. You just have to keep. Here’s to your success!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Spiritual Saturday: When to help and when to listen.

26 Saturday Jan 2019

Posted by in Spiritual Saturday

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“As we come out of our childhood of spirituality into greater states, we learn to let people be.”—Harold Klemp The Language of Soul

I have always struggled to empathize with people who complain. I always want to jump in and fix whatever is ailing them. What I have discovered is that people do not want to have their problems fixed for them. They want to be listened to, in most cases.

Today, I still struggle with this. In hindsight, I guess I have discovered that I am uncomfortable with people complaining. Complaining is a very negative and victim-like act, in my opinion. It is very frustrating when you run across someone who continuously complains about the same thing endlessly. It’s like these people are frozen in time, trapped in an endless loop without end.

I was watching a YouTube video a while back. I cannot recall the person’s name or even the YouTube video that I was watching but a conversation came up about one of the things he did to get along better with his wife. He said, “We came up with a way to identify what type of conversation we were in. I simply asked my wife whether this was a listening conversation or a solution conversation.” This was ingenious. The husband literally asks his wife whether he was to listen and empathize or listen and help her solve a problem. What a great way of doing things. If we are aware, we can pick up on these things and use them in our own lives.

Here’s a link to a great article about complaining: Psychology Today Article

If you continuously find yourself complaining about the same things, this article will help you understand the fruitlessness of this act. This article also explains how you relive what you are complaining about each time you complain. Talk about driving something deep into your psyche.

So, what are the lessons for today? Complaining is harmful if you are not using it to affect change in your life. There are two types of conversations: 1) Conversations where a person wants to complain and be listened to and empathized with; 2) Conversations where a person wants to complain in order to seek an answer to a question or find a solution to their problem.

If a person complains and asks for help, help them. If a person complains and does not ask for help, listen and empathize. People evolve and grow in unique ways. We have no right to jump in and advise, judge, or fix something they are totally capable of fixing. Let them be.

Until next time…

Dave