Daily Ramblings – Spiritual Saturday – You Only Control You.

Tags

Calm, Conspiracy Theories, Control, Coronavirus, Death, Doing what you can, pain, Paranoia, Sadness, Stay Informed, Stay Safe, Tragedy, Trust only credible resources

I think today is a good day to offer one of my favorite quotes. I like it so much; I have it in my Gmail signature for anyone to read when they get an email from me. Here’s the quote:

“Every time you think the problem is ‘out there,’ that very thought is the problem.” – Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

The reason I like this quote is that it addresses one problem many people suffer from—worrying about things they have ZERO control over. The coronavirus is a good example.

None of us controls who will get it and who will not. We can do what we are told to mitigate the chances, but we’re still not 100% safe from this thing. You can’t control your friends or your neighbors. You can’t control anything other than you. You can follow instructions. You can stay informed. You can help others. You can control how you react to this thing. You can control what you watch, what you read, and what you listen to. You can control how you react to these input streams. You can’t control the emails you receive, the negativity or fake news stories on your social media news feeds. You can only control you.

It it a time of uncertainty? Sure. Is it scary, uncomfortable, nerve-wracking? It can be, if you let it. A wise man once told me that when bad times hit, you can serve others. You can serve your loved ones. You can serve your immediate family. You can serve your pets. When you serve others, you stop thinking about yourself. Be selfless.

If you are one of the unfortunate people stuck in an area where the coronavirus is hitting really hard, like New York, Washington, or any number of places in the U.S. or abroad, I can only hope that you and your family are safe and sound. If not, I am sending good thoughts your way. I hope the effects are minimal at most.

It is times like these that remind me of some situations I found myself in the Army. When you’re in a tough situation, you do the best you can. You take care of one another. That’s all you can do.

I remember a friendly fire incident during a training exercise I took part in. One of the soldiers in my unit dropped a training round inside his personnel carrier and the round went off, sending a 40-mm projectile through his face. It was horrific, sudden, and unexpected. We jumped into action to get the soldier to a nearby hospital. He was dead on arrival. Just like that, a young man was with us, laughing and joking around. In a second, his life ended. Just because he dropped a training round.

This coronavirus acts the same way. It strikes people who did nothing wrong. They were just living their lives. Then, just like that, they get sick; they get rushed to the hospital, and they’re gone in a few hours or days. Could their loved ones do anything? No.

My heart goes out to anyone that has lost a loved one to this nasty bug. It goes out to the first-responders who have to deal with the families who have lost a loved one, through no fault of their own. It goes out to the hospital staff and the doctors at risk and putting their lives on the line every day. It goes out to the people who lost their jobs and don’t know how they will pay their rent, buy food, or take care of their families. It goes out to the many teachers getting creative to continue teaching their students. It goes out to literally anyone affected by this tragedy.

Take care of yourself. Only trust sources of information that are credible. Check everything you receive, including information sent by paranoid and conspiracy-theory driven family members and friends. I don’t blame anyone for what they do during times like these. People deal with things differently. Some believe they are doing good by passing along information, they believe is true.

You are the only one who can control you. You are the only one who can control how you react to these trying times. You can’t control the disease. You can’t control what will happen to your neighbors, friends, and colleagues. You only control you. I’ll end here.

Please be safe. Please stay informed using credible resources and news outlets. Please follow your local guidance. Please take care of yourself.

Until next time…

Dave

 

 

Daily Ramblings – Thankful Thursday – The School of Hard Knocks

Tags

Experience, God, Hardship, Love, pain, Suffering, Teacher, Thankful, trouble

I review my life quite a bit. I wonder why I did this or that. I relish the experiences I’ve had. I like looking back at what I call a pinnacle moment. That moment when you make a decision that drastically changes your life. Sometimes a change comes because we want it. Other times, it comes because we have no other choice.

I’ve experienced bankruptcy, death, horror, fear, extreme boredom, and high adventure. I’ve experienced divorce, breakups, and the loss of dear friends. I’ve achieved some pretty terrific things and failed miserably at others.

What have I gathered so far in this life? Quite a bit of wisdom. I’ve learned what to avoid. I’ve learned about myself. My definition of love has changed. I’ve cultivated a gratitude for everything in my life.

I think about how I am today, compared to what I was. When I look back over the years, I didn’t like my earlier self too much. But you have to start somewhere. Over the years, hardship and problems have smoothed out the rough edges. I’ve become more accepting of other people and empathize more with people in tough positions. Perhaps this empathy developed because I have experienced some of these things myself or at least can measure another person’s troubles more accurately now that I have experienced some of the things others have.

Would I change anything? No. My life is the way it is today because of each bump, scratch, and tear. I like where I am today. There are many more things to learn, perhaps even more suffering, but each experience is a gift. One of my friends told me that many people are upset with life because of what life does to them. He told me that life doesn’t do anything to us—life does things for us. To rephrase, it’s not what is done to us, but what is done for us.

We are all here to learn through experience. God wants us to come home, but only when we have learned to serve others, to love others, and receive the love of others. When we achieve that state, we can then become Co-workers with God and carry out our mission for the good of all.

I hope each of you has a terrific Thursday.

Until next time…

Dave

 

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Enjoy What you Have While You’ve Got it

Tags

Gratitude, Grief, Loss, Love, pain, Suffering, Unexpected, wisdom

Life can be tough.

One day you’re hanging out with some friends. One of them dies in a car accident.

One day, you hug your husband, kiss him, and say, “I love you.” He dies on a military deployment.

One day your playing with your dog. Then a vet is called to put them down for seizures.

One day you’re celebrating in your home. The next day, it’s burned to the ground.

All of our loved ones, pets, toys are on loan to us.

The only thing you take with you when it’s your time, is the love in your heart.

Enjoy the people in your life. Serve them. Give them everything you have.

Enjoy your pets. Love them like today is their last day.

Enjoy your toys. They will wear out.

Be grateful for even the smallest thing you possess. You’ll leave it behind when you’re gone.

The love you have for them never leaves.

It is love that you take with you.

The love you felt at your birthday.

The love you felt when your dog woke you up to go outside for a pee.

The love you felt when you kissed your wife, your husband, your Mom, your Dad, your son, your daughter, your brother or sister, your boyfriend or girlfriend.

The love you feel when you’re hanging out and just looking at how great that person makes you feel.

Love is the only thing that will never leave.

Love is forever.

Love endures.

Love stays.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Series Sunday – The Character Trait of Detachment

Tags

Attachment, Contentment, Detachment, Emotions, Letting go, pain, Suffering

“Everything is temporary; emotions, thoughts, people and scenery. Do not become attached, just flow with it.”—Anonymous

Detachment is the focus for this month. So, this month I’ll continue to work on discrimination, tolerance, forgiveness, and contentment. Each month I add one more character trait I want to work on, just like Benjamin Franklin did in his time.

Detachment relates to a practice of letting go. We live in a reality of constant change. Our health changes, our appearance changes, our situations change, and our relationships change. Tomorrow, you could lose everything. Detachment allows us to live a better life because it frees us from the emotional upheaval we experience when we lose something. Attachment in a constantly changing world is painful. Everyone around us will pass away at some point. Our pets will pass away. Our relatives and friends will pass away. We will pass away.

Detachment doesn’t mean we live an unfeeling life. Detachment means we live life to the fullest, appreciating what we have when we have it. It means to cherish what you have at the moment. Living a detached life allows us to be content with what we have and helps us avoid the lingering pain that occurs when we attach ourselves to something. Detached people, express pain for their loss and get on with their lives. It is not emotionless; it is realistic.

I hope all of you are having a great Sunday! Today is my do-nothing day. I’ll be relaxing, playing games, and doing what I want today. How about you?

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday

Tags

anguish, experiences, Joy, pain, pleasure, Suffering, Teachers

“Pain is a pesky part of being human, I’ve learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can’t be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. The pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.”―C. JoyBell C.

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/wisdom-quotes

If you spend any time reading through other blogs in the WordPress.com blogosphere, you see a great many people in pain. Mental pain, physical pain, the pain of loss, the pain of failure, the pain of addiction, the pain of poverty, and so many other types of pain.

We all experience pain in our lives. Without pain, we cannot feel its opposite—pleasure. Both have to exist for us to feel one or the other. The same goes for beauty and ugliness, love and hate, laughter and crying. These opposites are here so we can distinguish one from the other. Once we have learned what pain is, we tend to run from it and pursue pleasure.

Pain is a double-edged sword. Wallow in it and you are in hell. Use it and you can sometimes find a way out of it. Pain identifies when I’m at my limit in the gym. Pain tells me I should be careful with my back. Pain tells me what I’ve lost and to treasure regaining that again in the future. Pain teaches me contentment when the pleasure returns.

Pain, like pleasure, is fleeting. Pain and pleasure revolve around each other. They are finite. They come and go.

Don’t get me wrong. I realize there are some folks out there whose pain is so deep that the only escape is medication and psychological help of one sort or another. I am not trying to minimize this.

The pains we feel in life are teachers. There is a saying, “Things are not done to us but for us.” – Harold Klemp. Pain can be a great teacher.

Have you ever come out of a challenging situation in your life and failed to learn something? I, like most, have had my share of troubles. When I go back through my journal and read some of those entries, I am almost brought back to that point instantly, reliving the pain, the fear, and the absolute despair I was experiencing at the time.

When I take the time to really examine these periods, from a more balanced and neutral point of view, I can see the lessons that I learned from those experiences materialize. If I had not gone through what I did, I wouldn’t have learned what I now know. In fact, my greatest learnings over my lifetime have been initiated by painful circumstances, painful relationships, or painful experiences. I am not advocating that you seek out pain to learn, just to be aware that when life gets hard or you are presented with a problem that appears to be unsolvable that there is a way out. “There is always a way.” – Harold Klemp.

For those of you who are experiencing loss. For those of you who are experiencing physical pain. For those of you afflicted with mental pain of any type, I send you good thoughts. I hope your pain passes. I hope that one day you can regain some semblance of normalcy in your life.

Until next time…

Dave