Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Fear

Tags

Attachment, Detachment, Fear, Frozen, Ignore the Naysayers, Love, Paralysis, passion

“If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie

Fear hits me from time-to-time. sometimes I’m fearful that my writing won’t be good enough when I begin publishing my work. Sometimes I fear that I won’t learn to be a good programmer so I can create applications people will want to part with their money to own or use. Sometimes I fear that this blog will go nowhere. I’ll write here and no one will care one way or another.

Fear only takes hold when you are attached to something you want or desire. Eliminate that want or desire and fear dissipates. It’s hard, but it makes sense right? When I look at my writing or blogging fears, I only care about what others think of my writing when I desire or want others to like what I’ve done here. When I write for me, the fear disappears. The same thing happens when I remember that I am doing all the things I do for me and me alone. If someone likes my book, they’ll purchase it. If they don’t they won’t. I have no control over who will like or dislike my book. I have no control over who follows my blog or who elects not to. I have no control over anyone other than myself.

 

It’s comforting when I realize that all I do is for me and me alone. If, by chance, another person enjoys my writing, my blog, or my future applications, awesome! If not, who cares?

I realize I am in a unique position. I am retired and financially secure. It’s easy for me to take this attitude when my livelihood isn’t at risk. For others, this may not be as easy as it is for me. I get that. However, you can still achieve the same thing for yourself. When you develop an attitude of detachment, you do the best you can with what you have, and leave it there. You’ll discover how great it is to stop worrying about your critics. The key is to do things for yourself.

 

If you have a job, you need to please your boss and do the best you can to keep your job. But if you are pursuing things on the side like writing, online teaching, writing a mobile app, or whatever, this is the time you give yourself a break. Do it for the love of doing it. I enjoy writing. I enjoy learning. I enjoy reading and learning. I enjoy keeping myself healthy. I enjoy spiritual pursuits. I only do what I love to do. You can do the same, outside your day job.

You may not have as much time as I do, but you can still get a lot done with the limited time you have.

One of the biggest discoveries I have made since retirement is the benefit of completing small actions toward my goals every day. For example, I set a goal of reading 48 books this year (4 books a month on average). I read one chapter a day. Sometimes, if I have more time than usual, I read more than one chapter. Currently, I am at 61 books so far this year. Just by consistently reading one chapter each day without fail. This compounding is powerful. You can do the same thing.

When I write, I goal myself to write 500 words a day in my book. I started in January and I’ll finish the first draft by the end of this year. Again, 500 words a day, which amounts to about 15 minutes of work. I also write articles for my blog every day, journal every day in the AM and PM, and write discussion board responses for the online course I am taking. None of these feels like work because I absolutely love everything I am doing. It is a joy to get up in the morning and begin my work.

Fear is a powerful emotion. It can stop you in your tracks or talk you into believing that any effort you make is a waste of time. It will tell you that your work is not good enough. It will paralyze you. Let fear go by letting go of any expectation of outside applause or approval. Do the work or side hustle you’ve committed to for the love of it. If you don’t love it–STOP. This is your time, not your boss’ time. This is what you choose to do when you are not on the clock. Love what you do, lose your need for approval. The folks who love what they do will always do better than those who do not love what they do.

I’ll stop here. I hope all of you have a terrific Wednesday!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Giving of Yourself

Tags

Giving, Help, Humility, Love, Selflessness, Service, Smile, Wisdom Wednesday

Yesterday was one of those days when everything was just right. It was my Mom’s birthday. She opened her gifts and her cards. We took her out to dinner. My brother, sister, and niece called. I think she enjoyed the calls the most.

I spent time helping my wife study for a teaching credential she needs to pass by December. She works really hard and is putting everything she has into it. I love her.

“Before you can improve your life and find a measure of happiness, you must learn to do one thing every day out of pure love. That means, don’t expect anything in return—neither thanks nor happiness. Pick that occasion carefully. Then, whatever that one act of giving of yourself to someone else is, do it with all your heart.” — Harold Klemp — The Language of Soul.

Giving of yourself does not need to be a grand event. It could be as simple as cleaning up some trash in front of your neighbor’s home. It could be smiling at a young child in front of you at the grocery store line. It could be leaving a bigger tip when you eat out. It could be writing a letter to your folks or siblings. Giving of yourself brings a great warmth inside. It is hard to describe.

Serving someone else, without any expectation is a terrific thing. It is the selflessness of the act that is the most important. You just do something with no expectation. This selfless act will shrink your ego. It will humble you. It will calm you. It will improve your self esteem. It will open your heart.

If you’re down in the dumps, feeling lost, or depressed, try serving someone else. Strike up a conversation with a stranger, you may be the only person they talk with today. Smile at people. It may be the only smile they get today. Help someone. It may be the only time in their life that someone took the time to help them today. You may never know what a difference you made in someone’s life, but you will have made a difference.

I think I’ll end here. I hope all of you have a terrific Wednesday. As always…

Until next time…

Dave

 

Daily Ramblings – Thankful Thursday – Write a Letter

Tags

Expressing Gratitude, Expressing your Feelings, Love, Maintaining the Connection, Staying in Touch, Updates, Writing Letters

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Do you have a good friend or loved one that is far away? Do you miss them? Do you love them? Write them a letter. Even if you do not mail it, they will receive what you are sending. Simply open up your favorite word processing app and write them a letter. If you want them to receive your words, mail it to them or email it to them. I started this practice last year with my wife. We talk on the phone, I visit, and we do video chats, but the letters are a great way to stay in touch.

 

My wife is a special education teacher in Phoenix, AZ. I had to come home to help out with my Dad who is suffering from Dementia. I could not ask my wife to give up her career, so we decided she should stay in Phoenix and keep doing what she’s doing. We also had to consider my stepdaughters. They are all out on their own, but they need their Mama and it wouldn’t be fair to pull Mom out of the picture.

So, I send my wife a letter every month, expressing my love, my appreciation, my gratitude for her being in my life. Yeah, she’s far away, but the letters, calls, and video chats make it like she’s right here.

 

Just because you are not in the same home or locale, doesn’t mean you can’t stay close. Try this out for yourself. You’ll be amazed with the results.

I am grateful for my wife. She is beautiful, hard-working, and a great friend. I got the idea in reading memoirs of WWII veterans whose only contact with their wives were the letters they sent to them. This is the idea I got and decided to run with it. My wife loves them.

I take an entire month to write my wife. I add a little to the letters each day as thoughts come to mind or when something happens here that she’d be interested in. Then I edit and rewrite as necessary in the last week. It works. We both feel like we are with one another all the time and my letters are a big part of that.

Well, that’s it for this week. Thank you to all the new followers this week. I also appreciate the comments you’ve posted. I can never get enough comments. Have a great Thursday!

Until next time…

Dave

 

Daily Ramblings – Thankful Thursday – Pets

Tags

Companionship, family, Goldie, Grateful, Gratitude, Love, pets, Thanks, Weezer

Image by Sven Lachmann from Pixabay

As always, thank you to all my new followers this week! It’s always nice to get an email notifying me of a new follower. I appreciate it. It is nice to know that people are reading my content and enjoying it. Thank you very much.

Today, I want to express thanks for the pets that have blessed my life. My family lost two pets in the last month. Goldie was our golden retriever that had to be put down a week ago. The day we made the call, poor Goldie had upwards of 9 seizures. Weezer, my sister’s dog had to be put down a few weeks prior for a brain tumor. The memories of both dogs will be with me and my family forever. Dogs provide so much love to a family. They are good companions, funny, and love to hang out with you. It was not uncommon for Goldie to be in the same room with us, wherever we were. Because Mom, Dad, and I all have different places we like to be, Goldie would always position herself so she was in the middle of us. She had four places she liked. The first was the hallway outside my Mom’s, Dad’s, and my rooms. When we are all on our computers, you could turn around and see Goldie in the hallway, ever vigilant. When Dad and I watch television, Goldie is there watching the shows with us. When my Mom is out on our deck in the morning, Goldie is out there. We’ll miss you Goldie and Weezer. When the family is congregating in our living room in the morning, Goldie was there.

Whether you are a dog lover, cat lover, have birds, or a goldfish, pets are a great addition to any home. Yeah, they are a pain at times, but the love they give makes any home a warm one. They are companions that do not judge. They are just there to keep you company, get a petting, a treat, and are the best listeners in the world.

If you have a pet you’d like to highlight, comment with a picture of your fur baby. They are a treasure that add so much to our lives.

Me and Weezer at my Sister’s House

Goldie in one of her favorite places in our home—the living room floor

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Special Moments

Tags

Listening, Love, memories, Selflessness, Special Moments, Treasures, wisdom

Image by Candace Hunter from Pixabay 

I often ponder certain periods of my life. How did I end up where I am? Why did I learn the things I did in this life so far? What were the turning points? What moments are the most memorable?

When I think about my life’s most memorable moments I remember my wedding, some of my birthdays, graduating from college, retiring from the Army, and so many other things. The most memorable and important moments are those moments where someone was kind, giving, loving.

I remember the birthday presents and Christmas gifts my family sent to me when I was abroad. I remember the letters my late Grandma wrote. You know a gift from a lady that barely had enough to live on was something I will never forget. It warms my heart to think of those moments.

Then there are the family board games, playing Scrabble with my Mom and Grandma. Thanksgiving dinners. Christmas day. My first surprise birthday party thrown by my wife. The moments that stick with me the most are those that you can’t buy. These moments are the ones that really count.

Our lives are so busy. We work, we run errands; we pay our bills, and on it goes. It’s the little moments when someone shows us kindness or expresses their love for us. It isn’t the words “I love you”, but the acts that show that love. I still tear up when I think of some of these special moments in my life.

Today, even if it’s only a few minutes. Take that time to think about your special moments. The times someone smiled at you, helped you with something, spent time with you and just listened to what you had to say. These moments will carry you through the tough times. They will warm your heart when you lay in bed at night waiting for sleep to arrive. They will make you smile as you do your daily work. These moments when someone gave you their time or did something for you with no expectation or demand. They just did something that touched your heart.

These are the moments that hang on. These are the moments you take with you wherever you go. These are the moments that leave their mark. I love thinking about my special moments. They make me laugh. They make me cry. They make me feel loved.

Ah, these special moments that we carry with us. They are like the patchwork of a quilt, each one unique and contributing to the whole. Hold on to these special moments. They are a treasure that continues to hold its sparkle.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Do One Thing

Tags

Ego, Expectations, Giving, Lifting, Love, One Thing, Rising, Sacrifice, Slight

Image by andreas160578 from Pixabay

Before you can improve your life and find a measure of happiness, you must learn to do one thing every day out of pure love. That means, don’t expect anything in return—neither thanks nor happiness. Pick that occasion carefully. Then, whatever that one act of giving of yourself to someone else is, do it with all your heart.

—Harold Klemp

The Language of Soul

What does this quote mean? I pondered this quote for years before I really understood its meaning. It means to literally do something for God. I like to focus on yard work for this one daily gift. I do it as a means of pitching in around the house, but anyone can go through the motions. When you do something out of pure love, it means you put all you have into that one thing. You take one more step to do the job better than you would normally do it.

When you do something of this nature every day, you get something back, even though you don’t expect it. The ego depletes when you do something of this nature. That is a good thing. The ego tends to get us in trouble, particularly when we feel like we’ve been slighted or disrespected. When the ego is eliminated or ignored, you cannot be slighted or disrespected. The ego is the only thing that can define slight or disrespect.

It is hard to explain the feeling that comes when you’ve done a good job for a good job’s sake. It is there, even if it is slight. You feel a rising inside. You feel something that is deeply fulfilling. Try this out for a day if you’d like. Then, pay attention to how you feel as you do the job and afterwards.

It’s these little things we can do each day that make a huge difference in our lives. I have found that the little things we do have the largest impact.

I wish all of you a great Wednesday!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Ted Talk Tuesday – Acceptance

Tags

Acceptance, Adapting, Changes in Society, Differences, Disabilities, Love, Ted Talk

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay 

Today’s Ted Talk is a heart-warming one. You’ll enjoy it. I won’t ruin it by giving any spoilers. It is a good one.

Enjoy!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Bonus Content – Happy Mother’s Day!

Tags

Celebrate, Cherish, Chill out, Love, Mom, Mother, Mother's Day, Relax, Take a Break

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” – Abraham Lincoln

Read more at: Brainy Quote

To all the Mothers in my audience—Happy Mother’s Day. You kissed our boo-boos; you cheered us on; you taught us how to be good men and women, and you gave us undying love. You worried about us on our first day of school and you continue to worry about us while we’re gone or living elsewhere.

I hope each of you has a terrific day, filled with love, your family doing the cooking or taking you out for a meal, and NO CHORES!! Take the day and have some tea, stay in your pajamas, and RELAX! Today is about you.

 

Moms, we love you.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Bonus Content – Remaking Love

Tags

Barbara Fredrickson, Connection, Coursera, health, Love, Micro-moment, Positive Psychology, UNC at Chapel Hill

This was a Ted Talk that was included as part of a Positive Psychology course I took from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Great course and great Ted Talk. Enjoy!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Spiritual Saturday – Self-discipline

Tags

Balance, Harold Klemp, Holy Spirit, Key Areas, Love, passion, Self-discipline, spirituality

Self-discipline is an absolute necessity if one is to have a productive spiritual life. Replace old tastes and preferences with new, better ones. But do it in the name of the Holy Spirit, with love and a sincere heart, or nothing will come of this experiment.

—Harold Klemp The Language of Soul

Self-discipline is nothing more than doing what you agree to do. These agreements can be about your exercise routine, your diet, planning your day, and any other topic you can think of that requires effort. A person who can evaluate themselves and come up with a game plan to improve weaknesses or bolster their strengths are powerful people. They can do anything because they are willing to commit and stick with it.

Change is difficult. Evaluating yourself is difficult. Holding yourself to a new standard is also difficult. Self-discipline enables these and more.

So many people just ramble through life. They occupy their time with meaningless activities with no forethought. Think about all the people who literally live on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, or Pinterest. What are they accomplishing?

Are you happy with your life? If so, change nothing. Keep doing what you are doing. It’s your life. If you’re happy and fulfilled, why change anything. This article is for the rest of us that are not happy with our current circumstances. We want to lose weight, get in better shape, eat better, and build skills that will garner us the ability to make an income throughout our lives.

Where do you start? This is probably the hardest thing to do—decide. We only have so many hours in the day. What will you spend your time on? Do you want to write a book, start a blog, or create poetry? Do you want to learn a new language? Do you want to start an exercise program? Do you want to start a business? What other things can you do each day that will contribute and build?

I started my search online. I wanted to know what I could do to improve my life, make lasting change, and build skills that would provide me with an income as I pursue a third career. I chose specific areas of my life to look at. These areas are Physical (eating right, getting enough sleep, and exercise), Mental (reading and learning every day), Social (staying connected with friends and family and make new friends and connections), and Spiritual (daily meditation, religious readings, attending spiritual events and retreats).

The areas I want to learn are two-fold. Write books (nonfiction and fiction) and learn how to write computer programs. Once I began my investigation into these areas, I found all kinds of resources to help me on my quest. These are now daily habits that I dedicate my time to. I write every day for this blog and work on my books. I also code every day. I have made great strides in both areas because I do a little each day to add to my abilities.

I need a little discipline in these areas because I love both. I love writing and I love coding. They are closely related because a programming language has rules and a whole new language to learn to enable my code to work. Book writing is a combination of actual writing every day and learning the craft. I try to read a writing book daily and find courses online that can teach me the various aspects of writing whether these classes are on grammar, style, or the specifics of writing a book. There are books on plot development, world building, and character development. The learning never ceases.

What are your passions? What would you like to do with the rest of your life when you retire? Do you want to keep working? Do you want multiple streams of income? Take time on a weekend and think about some of these things. Once you have discovered what you’d like to do, add that to your day. Do a little on these areas each day. How long does exercise need to be to be a benefit? How much writing do you want to do each day? What can you fit into your schedule after your workday is done and you’ve attended to your home responsibilities?

When you start out, put in a half-hour or so to each thing you’d like to try. I would recommend grabbing one item you’d like to add to your day. Then, once you’ve solidified your newfound habit, add another and another, until you are hitting all the things you want to pursue. You’ll be amazed how many things you can do by chipping away a little at a time.

Well, folks. I hope you are having a great Saturday! Enjoy your weekend. If anyone is interested, comment on this thread. I am more than happy to give you some ideas to help you move forward.

Until next time…

Dave