Tags
Autonomy, Cause and Effect, Independence, Law of Non-Interference, Learning from mistakes, Problems, Solving Problems
Most of our problems are self-made. When things go wrong, if we take responsibility and do something that gives us greater understanding, life becomes easier.
This is how it should be, rather than having someone always giving us spiritual, emotional, or physical healings.
The idea is not to hide from life: It is to live life, but without making the same mistakes we did before.
—Harold Klemp
The Language of Soul
This is a great quote. This quote applies to all of us. What I would like to talk about today is staying out of other people’s way.
All of us run across challenges in our lives. How do we deal with them? We just do. Our solutions may not be the best solution to a problem, but we solve the problem. Sometimes we learn something; sometimes we are just glad to fix the problem and get a breather. It is nice when someone comes along and helps us solve a problem, but what do we learn? Do we go back to that person each time this particular problem arises? No, we would run out of benefactors quickly if this is what we did. Even our families would get sick of hearing about the same problem repeatedly. It’s nice to get a helping hand from time to time, but it doesn’t help us solve a problem and avoid it again in the future.
When we get hit with a problem, we gain much more by solving the problem ourselves and learning what caused the problem in the first place. When we learn what caused a problem, we know how to avoid it. Hence, the problem and its precursor are no longer capable of causing us problems. When other people pitch in and bail us out, we fail to learn as much as we could have.
If you see your child struggling with something, what’s your first response? Dive in and help right? Your child is happy that their frustration is ended, but what did they learn? Sometimes you need to help. The child may be having a problem with something that is way over their head. Think about the day your child learned how to tie their shoes. Wasn’t it terrific? It was probably painful to watch them struggle with it, but when they finally get it, it’s such a rewarding experience for them. They feel great and you get to pile on the accolades. What if you keep jumping in to help them? They never learn how to tie their shoes and you have to continue to help them. Not a great solution right?
This is what I am talking about. We always want to jump in, but we have to hold back. We have to let other people learn from their mistakes. They can’t learn from them if we always solve their problems. Just like your kid learning to tie her shoes, they’ll be dependent on you forever, unless they learn how to solve the problem for themselves.
It’s alright to pitch in if someone asks for help. They’re a friend or colleague and we want to help when asked. It’s another thing to stick our noses where they don’t belong. What Harold Klemp is talking about is the Law of Non-interference. This law dictates that we do not interfere with other people’s lives unless we are asked. We allow our friends and family to figure things out for themselves. At least we should.
The same thing follows for us. Ask for help when you need it, but give a real effort to solving your own problems, particularly the puzzle of how you caused the problem to begin with. Most of our problems have roots in our own actions and decisions. We cause them. Learn what caused the problem and you’ll know how to avoid it forever.
I hope each of you has a great Wednesday!
Until next time…
Dave
