Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Hot Chocolate and Viagra

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Funny, Laugh, Giggle, Friday, FriYAY, Joke, Hilarious, Snicker, Smile, Chuckle, Nurse, Hot Chocolate, Viagra

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his eighty-four-year-old father. While there he notices the nurse hand his father a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra pill.

The man asks the nurse, “Why are you doing that? At his age, what will either do for him?”

“The hot chocolate,” the nurse explains, “will help him fall asleep faster.”

“All right,” the man replies, “and what about the Viagra?”

“That keeps him from rolling out of bed.”

Joke credit: The best Joke Book (Period).

I hope all of you have a great weekend!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Adorable Old Woman

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Doctor, Friday, FriYAY, Fun, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Old Woman, Relax, Snicker, Weekend

An adorable old woman visits the doctor. “Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and is always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least ten times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was farting because it doesn’t smell and is silent.”

The doctor says, “I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week.”

The next week the lady returns. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly.”

“Good,” the doctor says.

“Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”

Joke Credit: The Best Joke Book Period

I hope all of you have a terrific weekend! I enjoyed my time this week with my sister and had some great fun. Take care of yourselves. I’ll see you Monday!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Senior Citizens

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Relax time, Snicker, Weekend

Three senior citizens are sitting on a park bench complaining about their failing bodies.

“Every morning I get up at 6 a.m.,” the first man explains, “and try to pee, but nothing but a trickle comes out.”

The second man adds, “I get up at 6 a.m. too, and it feels like I’ve got to move my bowels, but I sit down on the toilet and nothing happens.”

The third man chimes in the conversation and tells his friends, “I pee and move my bowels at exactly 7 a.m. every morning.”

“That’s not bad, “the first man responds. “Why are you complaining?”

The third man admits, “The problem is I don’t usually wake up until 8 a.m.”

Joke credit: The Best Joke Book (Period).

Have a great weekend, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – 100 years old

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cellmate, Chuckle, con, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, jail, Joke, Laugh, prisoner, Snicker, Weekend

A new man brought into a prison cell with a cellmate who is already 100 years old. The new cellmate asks the old man his story. The old con says, “You look at me, I’m old and worn out, but if you can believe it, I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat and four luxury cars, dated the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants around the world.”

The new man asks, “What happened?”

“Riley finally realized his credit cards were missing.”

Joke Credit: The Best Joke Book (Period)

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Grandfather and Granddaughter

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Hilarious, Laugh, Relax, Snicker, Weekend

A grandfather is walking home with his granddaughter after church. “Did God make you, PopPop?” the girls asks.

“Yep! He certainly did,” the old man answers again.

“And did he make me too?” she asks next.

“Of course he did,” the old man answers again.

“Well,” she replies, “he’s certainly getting better at it.”

Joke, courtesy: The Best Joke Book (Period)

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Nail Biting

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Hilarious, Laugh, Relax, Snicker, Weekend

“Two old women are discussing habits of their husbands. “Even after all these years, my husband will not stop biting his nails,” the first woman explains.

“My husband had the same habit,” the second woman explained, “but I fixed that. I just hid his teeth.”

Joke: Courtesy: The Best Joke Book (Period)

Have a great Friday!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Three Older Ladies

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Have Fun, Joke, Laugh, Relax, Snicker, Weekend

Three older ladies are discussing the trials of getting older. One says, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady chimes in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one responds, “Well, I’m sure glad I don’t have that problem. Knock on wood.” She raps her knuckles on the table, then says, “That must be the door. I’ll get it.”

Joke courtesy of: The Best Joke Book (Period).

Have a great weekend, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – God Complex

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Happy, Joke, Laugh, Smile, Snicker

A new patient settles comfortably onto the couch, and the psychiatrist begins his therapy session.

“I’m not aware of your exact problem,” the doctor says, “so perhaps you should start from the very beginning.”

“Of course,” replies the patient. “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth…”

Joke Courtesy: The Best Joke Book (Period).

Have a great weekend, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Hearing Things

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Hilarious, Laugh, Smile, Snicker

A patient in a mental hospital would spend his entire day with his ear pressed up against the wall. The doctor would watch this man, day after day, sit against the wall. The doctor finally decides to see what the patient is always listening to, so he puts his ear up to the wall and listens alongside the man. He hears nothing.

He turns to the mental patient and says, “I don’t hear anything coming from the wall.”

The mental patient replies, “Yeah, I know, and it’s been like that for months!”

Joke credit: The Best Joke Book (Period).

Have a great weekend, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – A Corny One

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Chuckle, Corny, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Hilarious, Laugh, Relaxation, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

A patient and psychologist were meeting for the first time.

“I think I’m a goat,” the patient tells the new doctor.

“All right,” the doctor says as he jots notes down. “And how long have you had this feeling?”

The man told him, “Ever since I was a kid.” (Get it?)

Have a great weekend, folks!

Joke Credit: The Best Joke Book (Period).

Until next time….

Dave