Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – The Burgler and the Parrot.

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Chuckle, Friday, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, “Jesús is watching you.” He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, “Jesús is watching you.” In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, “Was it you who said Jesús is watching me” The parrot replied, “Yes.” Relieved, the burglar asked, “What is your name?” The parrot said, “Clarence.” The burglar said, “That’s a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?” The parrot answered, “The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús.”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

I hope you got a good laugh out of this one. Have a great weekend, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Fish and Potatoes

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Chuckle, Friday, Fun, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Relaxation, Snicker, Weekend, Witty

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!” A pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam fish.'” The boy responds, “Because I caught these fish at the local dam.” The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, “I didn’t know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way.” He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later, at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, “That’s the spirit, Dad! Now pass the fucking potatoes!”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

Have a great Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – The Old Man and his Wife.

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Happy, Laughfactory, Laughter, Smile

An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor asks him, “So how has life been treating you?” The old man replies, “The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, he turns the light on and when I’m finished, he turns the light off.” While the old woman is with the doctor, the doctor told her what her husband said. She replied, “Damn it! The old fart’s been pissing in the icebox again!”

Courtesy the Laugh Factory

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Send Some Clothes

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Friday, Funny, Giggle, Happy, Joke, Laughter, Smile, Smirk, Weekend

Mother: “Sweetie, make a Christmas wish.”
Girl: “I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa’s computer.”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

Happy Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Jimmy and Grandma

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Hilarious, Laugh, Relax, Snicker, Weekend

A boy was going through his grandmother’s wallet one night and found her ID card. “Grandma?” he asked, “How much do you weigh?” His grandmother replied, “That’s not an appropriate question, Jimmy” He then asked, “How old are you?” She again replied, “That’s not appropriate, Jimmy.” Finally he asked, “Grandma, why did grandpa leave you?” Before she had time to answer, Jimmy looked at the card and said, “Oh I see, it’s because you got an ‘F’ in sex.”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

I hope you enjoy these like I do. I read quite a few and pick the one that makes me laugh the most. Have a great Friday!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – A Kid Asks His Dad…

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Chuckle, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Happy, Laughter, Snicker, Weekend

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

A kid asks his dad, “What’s a man?” The dad says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.” The kid says, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

Thanks to all the Moms out there. You gals rock!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – An Old Couple…

Tags

Chuckle, Crackup, Friday, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Weekend

A doctor tells an old couple at his office he needs to get a stool sample, a urine sample, and a blood test from the old man. Hard of hearing, the old man asks his wife what the doctor said. The wife replies, “He needs a pair of your underwear.”

Courtesy: The Laughfactory

Have a great Friday, folks! Hang in there! It’s tough in some places.

Sending good thoughts to all.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Man Eating Chicken

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Funny, Giggle, Happy, Joke, Laugh, Laugh Factory, Man-eating Chicken

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather’s farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. “What is it?” he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said,” It- it’s- IT’S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!”

Joke (Courtesy Laugh Factory)

Have a great Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Ted Talk Tuesday – Memes

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Communication, Funny, Lexicon, Memes, social media, Ted Talk, TedEd

Don’t you just love memes? I know I do. When someone on my Facebook feed puts a good meme, it’s hard not to laugh myself to tears. Check out this short video on why these have become part of the 21st century lexicon.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Four Men in a Hospital

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Chuckle, Friday, Funny, Giggle, Joke, Laughter, Party time, Weekend

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse approaches the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse then yells the second man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!” “That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!” A nurse goes up to the third man saying, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets.” “That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!” The last man begins groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7 Up!”

Courtesy: Laughfactory.com

Happy Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave