Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Henny Youngman

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Comedian, Funny, Giggles, Happy, Henny Youngman, Jokes, Laughter, Wednesday, wisdom

This week’s quotes come from the late American Comedian Henny Youngman. I hope you find these priceless pieces of wit as funny as I did.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Henny Youngman

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

Henny Youngman

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Henny Youngman

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

Henny Youngman

Have a great Wednesday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – 5 Quotes

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Funny, History, Humor, Poetry, Reading, Robert Frost, Wednesday, wisdom

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

Robert Frost

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

Robert Frost

Hell is a half-filled auditorium.

Robert Frost

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.

Robert Frost

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.

Robert Frost

I hope you enjoy Frost’s humor. Have a great Wednesday!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Spread Your Wings Sunday – Week of August 9, 2020.

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Comedy, Funny, Giggle, Hilarious, Joke, Joy, Laugh, Laughter

Weekly challenge: This week, the challenge is to laugh. Here are a few sources that will help you out:

The Onion – https://www.theonion.com/

The Laughfactory – http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/family-jokes

Cracked – https://www.cracked.com/

These three will get you started. Need more? There’s always a good comedy show on Netflix and Amazon.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Skydiving

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Chuckle, FriYAY, Funny, Funny Friday, Giggle, Laugh, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

Courtesy Bored Panda

Enjoy your Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Old Man on the Highway

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Party, Relax, Snicker, Weekend

There is a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ”Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!” Herman says, ”I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!”

The Laugh Factory

Have a great Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – A Bug in the Soup!

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Laugh Factory, Snicker, Weekend

A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”

“That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies.

After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

Have a great weekend, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Adam and Eve

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Laughter, Smile, Snicker

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question, and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

Laughter is a wonderful thing. Take some time on Friday to laugh. To really chuckle about something. Watch a funny movie, read the comics, or check out your favorite comic on Netflix. I hope you have a terrific Friday and a great weekend!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – My Favorite Gift

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Chuckle, Friday, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Snicker

Three brothers wanted to give their blind mom a birthday gift. The first got her a big beautiful house. The second got her a brand new luxury vehicle with a driver. The third got her a talking parrot to keep her company. When they all got together, they wanted to know which gift she liked best. She said they were all great but she thanked her third son because she liked the chicken dinner best.

Courtesy: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/family-jokes/6

Have a great Friday, folks!

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – The Burgler and the Parrot.

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Chuckle, Friday, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, “Jesús is watching you.” He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, “Jesús is watching you.” In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, “Was it you who said Jesús is watching me” The parrot replied, “Yes.” Relieved, the burglar asked, “What is your name?” The parrot said, “Clarence.” The burglar said, “That’s a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?” The parrot answered, “The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús.”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

I hope you got a good laugh out of this one. Have a great weekend, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Fish and Potatoes

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Chuckle, Friday, Fun, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Relaxation, Snicker, Weekend, Witty

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!” A pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam fish.'” The boy responds, “Because I caught these fish at the local dam.” The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, “I didn’t know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way.” He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later, at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, “That’s the spirit, Dad! Now pass the fucking potatoes!”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

Have a great Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave