26 Friday Feb 2021
Posted in Funny Friday
A new patient settles comfortably onto the couch, and the psychiatrist begins his therapy session.
“I’m not aware of your exact problem,” the doctor says, “so perhaps you should start from the very beginning.”
“Of course,” replies the patient. “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth…”
Joke Courtesy: The Best Joke Book (Period).
Have a great weekend, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
19 Friday Feb 2021
Posted in Funny Friday
A patient in a mental hospital would spend his entire day with his ear pressed up against the wall. The doctor would watch this man, day after day, sit against the wall. The doctor finally decides to see what the patient is always listening to, so he puts his ear up to the wall and listens alongside the man. He hears nothing.
He turns to the mental patient and says, “I don’t hear anything coming from the wall.”
The mental patient replies, “Yeah, I know, and it’s been like that for months!”
Joke credit: The Best Joke Book (Period).
Have a great weekend, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
12 Friday Feb 2021
Posted in Funny Friday
Tags
Chuckle, Corny, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Hilarious, Laugh, Relaxation, Smile, Snicker, Weekend
A patient and psychologist were meeting for the first time.
“I think I’m a goat,” the patient tells the new doctor.
“All right,” the doctor says as he jots notes down. “And how long have you had this feeling?”
The man told him, “Ever since I was a kid.” (Get it?)
Have a great weekend, folks!
Joke Credit: The Best Joke Book (Period).
Until next time….
Dave
29 Friday Jan 2021
Posted in Funny Friday
A woman accompanies her husband to a doctor’s visit. After the checkup, the doctor calls only her into his office. “The outlook isn’t good,” he tells her.
“Your husband is under a tremendous amount of stress. If you don’t do exactly what I tell you, he may not survive to see the end of the month. Each morning, make him a nice healthy breakfast. Do the same for lunch and dinner. Always be in a pleasant mood around him and keep his spirits up. Don’t burden him with chores or stress him with the details of your day. At night, if he’s up for it, agree to any request for sexual pleasure. If you do all those things, he’ll live a long life.” On the way home, the husband asks his wife what the doctor said to her in the closed-door meeting.
She replies, “You’re going to die.”
Have a great weekend, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
22 Friday Jan 2021
Posted in Funny Friday
The president was awakened in the middle of the night by a call from the Pentagon.
“Mr. President,” the four-star general began, “I’ve got good news and bad news.”
“What’s the bad news?” the president asked.
“The country is being taken over by aliens from another planet.”
“My God,” the president said. “What’s the good news?”
“The good news is,” said the general, “they pee oil and they’ve eaten Rush Limbaugh.”
Have a great Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
08 Friday Jan 2021
Posted in Funny Friday
I wanted to bring back Funny Friday, because some of you gave me some comments last year that you liked the jokes and other funny things I have found on the web. So here we are. Spread your wings Sunday will not be continued, however. I’ve reverted back to Sunday being my “do nothing day”, and plan on sticking with that.
I look forward to providing you some funny videos, funny jokes, and anything else I find hilarious on Fridays going forward. Happy 2021, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
14 Wednesday Oct 2020
Posted in Wisdom Wednesday
This week’s quotes come from the late American Comedian Henny Youngman. I hope you find these priceless pieces of wit as funny as I did.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Have a great Wednesday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
26 Wednesday Aug 2020
Posted in Uncategorized, Wisdom Wednesday
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
I hope you enjoy Frost’s humor. Have a great Wednesday!
Until next time…
Dave
09 Sunday Aug 2020
Posted in Spread Your Wings, Uncategorized
Weekly challenge: This week, the challenge is to laugh. Here are a few sources that will help you out:
The Onion – https://www.theonion.com/
The Laughfactory – http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/family-jokes
Cracked – https://www.cracked.com/
These three will get you started. Need more? There’s always a good comedy show on Netflix and Amazon.
Until next time…
Dave
24 Friday Jul 2020
Posted in Funny Friday
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Courtesy Bored Panda
Enjoy your Friday, folks!
Until next time…
Dave
