31 Sunday May 2020
Posted in Spread Your Wings
Week of May 31, 2020 challenge: Call a family member you haven’t talked with in a while and check in to make sure they are OK. Both COVID and the recent riots are probably putting a lot of folks in danger. Wish them well and ask them if they need anything.
In the comments, reply with whom you talked with and how it went.
Until next time…
Dave
16 Saturday May 2020
Posted in Spiritual Saturday
Our freedom stops where someone else’s starts. This line is called responsibility.
—Harold Klemp
The Language of Soul
People irritate us. Let’s be honest. Your husband, wife, mother, father, brother, sister, or long-time friend. They all do things that bug the crap out of us. The part we forget: We do things that bug the crap out of them too. Love people for who they are.
Now love has a few different levels, so to speak. Your love for your close family and friends is emotional and nostalgic. The relationships are close because you have so many shared experiences. Those outside of this circle get our good will. Many use the word love, but it is more about good will or a lack of feeling altogether. Sure you feel bad for someone that has experienced loss or a traumatic situation, but you aren’t as effected as you would be if a close family member or friend experienced the same thing.
As human beings, we are naturally empathetic. When you read about a family in your area dying in a house fire, you would naturally feel bad for the family. If the same disaster happened to your immediate family, it would be devastating.
You can’t control other people. People will do what they will do. All of us have blind spots. We all have that thing we could improve on. We don’t need to rub this in someone else’s face. In most cases, they’ll resist the change you suggest that much more, or they may increase what they do to bug you even more.
Let your loved ones breathe. Let them pursue the life they want to. Love them for who they are. Love them for the things that bug you. Love them for their idiosyncrasies, their flaws, their eccentricities. These things make them unique. They are endearing if you look at them in this fresh light.
When Harold talks about freedom stops where someone else’s begins, this is what he means. You should let no one impose change on you. The same follows for you and others. You do not have a right to make someone do something they do not want to do. So lighten up. Let your family and friends breathe. People will surprise you. They change. But they change when they want to and at the pace they are comfortable with. Mind your own garden. You and they will be a lot happier.
Until next time…
Dave
14 Thursday May 2020
Posted in Thankful Thursdays
Today, I’m grateful for my brother and sister. My brother lives in Arizona, and my sister lives in Michigan, about 2 hours away. My brother is a Network Manager for Fender Guitars and my sister is a Program Manager for GM/Chrysler.
Both have a unique sense of humor, always attuned to the Gardner clan. I stay in touch with my brother via phone and playing coop video games together. He also likes to find funny memes and send them to me and my sister. My sister is closer. She visited this last weekend to hangout for Mother’s day and get out of the house and see something else for a change. When she comes over, we have long conversations into the wee hours.
I know some families that don’t get along so well. Not mine. My brother, sister, and I are like peas in a pod. Yeah, we have our own interests and my brother is a long way away, but all of us stay connected one way or another. I’m thankful for that.
It’s great to know you have two people, roughly the same age that have your back. It’s a comfort knowing that we will stick together through thick and thin. When I needed help, my brother and sister pitched in to help. When they need help, I hope I did the same. I always try to help out my family whenever I can. For me, it’s the only way to live.
Well, that’s it for today, folks. I hope you find something to be thankful for each day. It is a great practice. If you have a few minutes, start keeping a gratitude journal and write down three things you are grateful for everyday. It is a great practice and one that will keep your spirits up.
Until next time…
Dave
09 Thursday Apr 2020
Posted in Thankful Thursdays
Tags
Coronavirus, family, Friends, Guidelines, health, Safety, Thankful, vulnerable
After watching today’s White House briefing, I was encouraged by Dr. Birx’s analysis of the models we have now, based on the numbers they are receiving from healthcare providers across the area. New York’s numbers are still high, but their cases are going down. Only time will tell.
That being said, I am thankful for the American people for sticking with the guidelines that have been provided. According to Dr. Birx, these lowered numbers (about 60,000, instead of the earlier numbers between 100,000 and 200,000 deaths). 60,000 deaths is still high, but it’s a much better number than the scary numbers that were put out a week ago.
I’m also thankful that all of my family in Michigan and Arizona is safe and healthy. I talked to a colleague of mine who is an ESL teacher in Vietnam. His grandmother died from the coronavirus, and his aunt is on a ventilator. Due to travel restrictions he can’t get home. Bad news indeed.
Finally, I am thankful for all the healthcare professionals, military, first responders, scientists, and other members of our critical supply chains continuing to go to work at great risk to themselves. I’m also grateful for the folks who work in our grocery stores, convenience stores, and restaurants (the ones that are still open for pickup or drive-thru). What a great collection of heros.
Please continue to stick with the guidelines that have been put in place. They are working. I realize being stuck at home is a pain, but if it saves the lives of those in our society that are most vulnerable, it’s worth it. I hope all of you continue to stay safe, stay informed, and follow guidance provided by our government.
Until next time…
Dave
05 Sunday Apr 2020
Posted in Spread Your Wings
Tags
Concern, Connecting, family, Friends, Friendship, Love, Reaching out, Staying in Touch
I’m only offering one challenge this week. This is it:
Challenge: Reach out to all of your family members to make sure they are OK.
I know most of you are already doing this, so it may not be too much of a challenge, but for those who have estranged family members, who live far away, would appreciate a call. Promise.
My stepmom is in Mexico. I used Google Translator, reached out on Facebook messenger, and she was so glad to hear from me.
Here’s the thing. I would hate to lose any of my family members without having a chance to touch base with them. There are so many stories in the papers, blogs, and books that highlight how horrible it is to lose someone and miss the opportunity to say you care for them. I hope this doesn’t happen to you. Take a minute and reach out. It doesn’t take long, it’ll prevent you from worrying, and the other person will feel great.
Well, that’s all I got today. Have a great Sunday!
Until next time…
Dave
26 Thursday Mar 2020
Posted in Thankful Thursdays
Tags
Death, family, Friends, Hardest Hit, health, Loss, Tragedy, World Health Organization
In light of all of the tragedy stretching across the globe, I wanted to express my gratitude for the health of my family and friends. It could be a lot worse, and luckily, it isn’t.
One of my friends wasn’t so lucky. He lost two fraternity brothers this week to the coronavirus. There are thousands of stories of families losing loved ones, told and untold. According to the World Health Education Website we are at 416,686 confirmed cases, 18,589 confirmed deaths, with 197 countries impacted.
The hardest hit are: China (81,869 confirmed cases), Italy (69,176 confirmed cases), U.S.A. (51,914 confirmed cases), Spain (39,673 confirmed cases), Germany (31,554 confirmed cases), Iran (27,017 confirmed cases), and France (22,025 confirmed cases). Each death is tragic, especially when you consider that there is no cure for this thing.
Express gratitude for your loved ones. Reach out to them if you are separated. It’s so important in these rough times.
I hope each of you remains safe, remains informed, and follows local guidance. We can beat this thing if we stay at home, take care of ourselves, and follow the guidance provided by our governments.
Until next time…
Dave
22 Sunday Mar 2020
Posted in Spread Your Wings, Uncategorized
Tags
Connect, Coursera, Duo, Facebook messenger, FaceTime, family, Friends, Learn something, Separated, Skype, Take a course
Here’s your weekly challenge:
Challenge:
Take a free course on Coursera
There are a ton of courses on this site that should interest anyone. Get in there and take a course. You’re hunkered down in your home. Why not?
Alternate challenge:
Use a video chat app, like Skype, Google Duo, FaceTime, or Facebook Messenger to connect with family who are separate from you. It make take a bit getting coordinated with the other person, particularly if they are not that great with technology, but it’s a great way to stay in touch with people and it’s fun!
Stay safe, stay informed, and stay calm.
Until next time…
Dave
12 Thursday Mar 2020
Posted in Thankful Thursdays
Yesterday, we celebrated Dad’s 81st birthday. We gave him some birthday cards; I got him a book, because he loves to read, and Mom got him some new sneakers for the gym. We got him going a few weeks back because the Doc says he has to move more. We also went out to dinner last night so Dad could get a Ribeye, his favorite steak.
Dad at the gym…
I’m thankful for Dad. When I was young, like most boys, Dad was a superman. Now that I’m back home helping the family because of his diagnosis of Dementia, our relationship is different. Dad likes to reminisce about the times he could go to the local movie theater and watch a few short films, a feature film, get a popcorn, and a drink for 15 cents. Dad is more human. Dad and I are friends now. Yeah, I can’t have deep conversations with him, but we watch TV shows together, we read together in the living room, and we enjoy pizza from time-to-time.
Dad worked his tail off when I was growing up. He worked for the Detroit Edison as a power plant operator. He worked shift work, yet still had the energy to come home and work on the house, around the yard, and did stuff with us kids (mostly TV).
What did Dad teach me? He taught me how to treat a woman. He taught me how to work hard and enjoy it. One of his sayings that comes to mind was: “If you know you have to do a job, there are two ways to look at the job. You can like doing the job and the time tends to go quickly and enjoyably, or you can dislike the job and time crawls and your miserable the entire time.” This advice helped me well during my 20 years in the Army.
He taught me about music. Dad loved to play the guitar and I, who wanted to be like Dad, learned to play a few instruments because I wanted to play something with Dad.
He taught me to read. He didn’t teach the mechanics of reading, but taught me the habit of reading. Like music, I wanted to be like Dad. So, I developed a reading habit at a young age. It has stayed with me to this day and helped me in the Army and in College.
Me and Dad at his Physical Therapy.
There are so many things Dad has taught me. I am grateful for these things. Now that he is in his senior years, it feels good to be home and help him out—to repay a life of sacrifice and hard work so I could live a better life than he did. That’s the way it’s supposed to work, right? Anyway, it’s a treat and privilege to be home and help out the folks. Even today, we can get on each other’s nerves, but mostly, it’s great to hang out and pitch in when they need help with technical things or need me to read something they get in the mail they don’t understand.
So I’m grateful for Dad. He helped me become the man I am today and gave me, my brother, sister, and Mom a better life.
Until next time…
Dave
06 Thursday Feb 2020
Posted in Thankful Thursdays
I love a good laugh. A good joke, a funny quote, a funny comedy, or even a funny article. As long as the result is me laughing.
I love to laugh so hard I can’t breathe, my eyes water, and my voice raises about 10 octaves. These laughs are rare, but when they happen, it’s terrific.
Photo by Clement Eastwood on Pexels.com
I love laughing at a funny movie, giggling when I read a clever quote or joke, or watching a funny comedy act on Netflix.
Photo by Rodolfo Quirós on Pexels.com
I love laughing with family, friends, and strangers. Laughter is something I am so grateful for. The ability to laugh at myself, laugh with others, and the ability to find something funny in most situations.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
Laughter is a gift. Laugh, laugh, and laugh some more. It is so healing. It is so relaxing.
Until next time…
Dave
30 Thursday Jan 2020
Posted in Thankful Thursdays
I’ve gotten a bunch of new followers in the last few months, so I wanted to apprise each of you about my situation. I retired early in 2016 to come home and help my folks. My wife is still in Arizona, teaching special education. My Dad has dementia, and he continues to slip, regardless of the work the doctors do with medication. There just isn’t a cure for this stuff.
Since 2018, we decided he couldn’t travel anymore. We went to my niece’s wedding and Dad had an episode during the trip. These episodes are like a panic attack to the 10th power. His system shuts down, his blood pressure drops, and he passes out. After this last one, Dad took almost a month to recover.
Since that time, Dad can’t be left home alone anymore. So if Mom leaves, I have to stay with him. If I leave, Mom has to stay with him or take him with her when she runs errands. It’s tough all around. That being said, I consider it a privilege to be home and spend time with them in their senior years. I realize few people have this opportunity, and I do my best to enjoy every moment of it. Yeah, every family has it’s internal spats, but for the most part, we have a good time.
Dad loves television, YouTube (believe it or not), and reading. Mom is more active and gets antsy when she can’t do anything, especially now that she’s sick with a cold and runs out of energy and has to just chill out on the couch with her iPad. Mom is the kind of person that always has to be doing something. She just can’t sit still. If she’s not working on a home project, she’s working on the family books, reading, running errands, doing laundry, or cooking. When it’s nice outside, Mom is in her garden or greenhouse.
It’s nice to be here with Mom and Dad and just be with them. I’m glad circumstances arose to allow me this opportunity to do that. I’m lucky I know. I read about so many horror stories about dysfunctional families on social media, articles, and even in the news. I just can’t imagine living in a home like that and grateful that my childhood and time with Mom and Dad has been a real treat.
So today, I’m thankful for my Mom and Dad.
Until next time…
Dave
