Daily Ramblings – Spiritual Saturday – Love Yourself

Tags

Contentment, Detachment, Giving, Humility, Love, receiving, Self Love, Selflessness

“You have to give love to get love” – Paul Twitchell

This is a simple equation, isn’t it? It’s the simplicity of these wise words that makes it difficult, right? The mind likes to complicate things–make them difficult. Easy things are hard to imagine, because we are so ready for the hard things.

Our minds are always on the lookout. The mind seeks out danger because it is wired to do so. It is fearful of the unknown. It is fearful of something new. It is also very hard on us.

When you begin something new, what does your mind tell you? Why are you doing this? You don’t know what you’re doing. You will mess up. You aren’t good enough? The mind is a terrible taskmaster for some of us.

When people speak of love, they typically mean loving someone or something else. When was the last time you loved yourself? When was the last time you cheered yourself on, patted yourself on the back, imagined a younger version of yourself and told that version that you were good, you were enough, and that you are loved? I bet it might have been a while–am I right?

You have to love yourself, before others will love you. You also have to be satisfied with being alone. When you love yourself and are happy by yourself, you won’t have any expectations of someone else. You won’t attach strings to the love you give them, because you are already satisfied with the love you are receiving–from yourself.

Take the time to really love–YOU! You know yourself better than anyone. You are the only person that can do this for you. Why be dependent on another person? Why yearn for love when you have more than enough to give yourself?

This isn’t selfish. You aren’t going to neglect the loved ones in your life, just take some time to love yourself. When you do so, you’ll find that the love you give is more selfless. You give love to just give it. You won’t expect anything in return.

I hope all of you have a terrific Saturday. I also want to thank all of you who stopped by to wish me a happy birthday. It was nice to hear from you. It was the icing on the cake, so to speak. A great day, followed by happy birthdays here and on my social media accounts. It was really nice.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Spiritual Saturday – You Can’t Change Other People.

Tags

Andrew Carnegie, bugging, change, Detachment, Friends, Friendship, nagging

“You cannot push anyone up a ladder unless he be willing to climb a little himself.” – Andrew Carnegie

Have you ever tried to convince a friend or family member to go to the gym? It is like pulling teeth. Have you ever tried to get someone to give up smoking or drinking too much? Again, the same result.

People change when they’re ready to change. You can’t make them go any faster. People go at their own pace.

Instead of trying to change people, let them be who they are. If you don’t like who they are, drop them as a friend. Trust me, you’re doing them a favor. No one wants to be nagged or bugged to do or be something different. Love them for who they are.

I struggled with this for a long time. I finally gained an understanding of this in the last few years. You really have to let other people live their lives. Let them have their own opinions, pursue their own dreams, and keep their bad habits (if they have any). When you’re a true friend, you don’t care about the other person’s faults. You like the whole person–bad habits and all. A true friend will reciprocate.

Have a great Saturday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Fear

Tags

Attachment, Detachment, Fear, Frozen, Ignore the Naysayers, Love, Paralysis, passion

“If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie

Fear hits me from time-to-time. sometimes I’m fearful that my writing won’t be good enough when I begin publishing my work. Sometimes I fear that I won’t learn to be a good programmer so I can create applications people will want to part with their money to own or use. Sometimes I fear that this blog will go nowhere. I’ll write here and no one will care one way or another.

Fear only takes hold when you are attached to something you want or desire. Eliminate that want or desire and fear dissipates. It’s hard, but it makes sense right? When I look at my writing or blogging fears, I only care about what others think of my writing when I desire or want others to like what I’ve done here. When I write for me, the fear disappears. The same thing happens when I remember that I am doing all the things I do for me and me alone. If someone likes my book, they’ll purchase it. If they don’t they won’t. I have no control over who will like or dislike my book. I have no control over who follows my blog or who elects not to. I have no control over anyone other than myself.

 

It’s comforting when I realize that all I do is for me and me alone. If, by chance, another person enjoys my writing, my blog, or my future applications, awesome! If not, who cares?

I realize I am in a unique position. I am retired and financially secure. It’s easy for me to take this attitude when my livelihood isn’t at risk. For others, this may not be as easy as it is for me. I get that. However, you can still achieve the same thing for yourself. When you develop an attitude of detachment, you do the best you can with what you have, and leave it there. You’ll discover how great it is to stop worrying about your critics. The key is to do things for yourself.

 

If you have a job, you need to please your boss and do the best you can to keep your job. But if you are pursuing things on the side like writing, online teaching, writing a mobile app, or whatever, this is the time you give yourself a break. Do it for the love of doing it. I enjoy writing. I enjoy learning. I enjoy reading and learning. I enjoy keeping myself healthy. I enjoy spiritual pursuits. I only do what I love to do. You can do the same, outside your day job.

You may not have as much time as I do, but you can still get a lot done with the limited time you have.

One of the biggest discoveries I have made since retirement is the benefit of completing small actions toward my goals every day. For example, I set a goal of reading 48 books this year (4 books a month on average). I read one chapter a day. Sometimes, if I have more time than usual, I read more than one chapter. Currently, I am at 61 books so far this year. Just by consistently reading one chapter each day without fail. This compounding is powerful. You can do the same thing.

When I write, I goal myself to write 500 words a day in my book. I started in January and I’ll finish the first draft by the end of this year. Again, 500 words a day, which amounts to about 15 minutes of work. I also write articles for my blog every day, journal every day in the AM and PM, and write discussion board responses for the online course I am taking. None of these feels like work because I absolutely love everything I am doing. It is a joy to get up in the morning and begin my work.

Fear is a powerful emotion. It can stop you in your tracks or talk you into believing that any effort you make is a waste of time. It will tell you that your work is not good enough. It will paralyze you. Let fear go by letting go of any expectation of outside applause or approval. Do the work or side hustle you’ve committed to for the love of it. If you don’t love it–STOP. This is your time, not your boss’ time. This is what you choose to do when you are not on the clock. Love what you do, lose your need for approval. The folks who love what they do will always do better than those who do not love what they do.

I’ll stop here. I hope all of you have a terrific Wednesday!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – We Know So Little

Tags

Attitudes, Beliefs, Cars, change, Detachment, Homes, Loved ones, Property, wisdom

“True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.” – Socrates

Each of us has an inner voice. Some call it conscience. It is that part of us that truly knows the difference between right and wrong. We all have access to it, but many refuse to listen. It’s that voice that guides us. The more you listen to that voice, the louder it becomes. When you ignore the voice, it dwindles until you can barely hear it.

I believe our conscience is necessary because it comes from a source unaffected by the change that occurs around us. We have adapted to the world we live in using the senses we have. These sense inputs create a map we need to survive. How accurate are they? Not so much. Our internal maps are only as good as the input we have received, which may have changed. People change. Environments change. We change. The internal maps inside us remain the same until we receive new inputs and those inputs cause our brains to adjust the map we use. When things change to quickly or without our knowledge, we are thrown into chaos.

The wisdom we gain over time, accepts that our internal maps are not reality, but a pseudo-reality that we need to make sense of the world. Wisdom tells us that what we think we know, we really don’t. It tells us that change occurs and we must expect it. It tells us that the map we have is inaccurate. This wisdom is comforting because it helps us realize that nothing is permanent in this world and if we are unattached to it, life becomes easier. We no longer fear losing something or losing someone because losing only applies when we are attached to something. Attachment in this case means we have an unhealthy relationship with physical things that will leave us. Attachment only causes suffering. Detachment frees us from wanting or needing. We are happy with what we have at the moment and will be just as happy if something changes in the next moment.

Wisdom tells us that the only things we can keep are those things we have earned inwardly. The love you have in your heart is yours forever. No one can take away your love for God, love for your significant other, love for your pet, love for your family, or love for yourself. The love you have is yours to keep forever.

Your car, your home, your loved ones, your pets, your job, your toys, and your life will all end. When your life ends, none of these things will go with you. The only things you will take with you are the experiences you have and the love you have in your heart.

Detachment is not an easy thing to achieve. Some consider it a heartless state. How can I not care about my husband or wife dying? How can I not care about losing my home in a tornado? The state of detachment is not a state of “not caring”. It is a state of balance. Losses and disappointments will cause the detached person to mourn. It is natural to mourn a negative situation. Detachment allows us to mourn a loss and then move on, without being stuck. It allows us to heal more quickly because the people, things, and experiences we “lost” were never really ours. If we never own something, can we truly be unhappy or sad when they leave us?

 

No. Detachment means we enjoy what we have to the fullest, while we have it. Then, when it comes time for something to leave our lives, we let it go. We move on. We move in a new direction. Detachment is the wisest state to be in when you are dealing with a physical reality in perpetual change.

I hope each of you has a terrific Wednesday! Thank you for reading this today!

Until next time…

Dave

 

 

Daily Ramblings – Spiritual Saturday – We are Spiritual Beings Having a Human Experience

Tags

Anger, Attachment, Contentment, Detachment, Discrimination, Forgiveness, Greed, Humility, Lust, Passions of the Mind, Soul, tolerance, Vanity, Virtues

“Remember, we are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” – Stephen Covey

Read more at: Brainy Quote

Have you ever wondered how you can think about thinking? What part of you is watching you? My religion is ECKANKAR and we call this you—soul. Soul is a spiritual being. It is the real you. It is that part of you that can watch what you are thinking, saying, and doing. Soul is what thinks about what the mind thinks and what the body does. Soul uses your body to experience this life.

I believe in reincarnation. To believe in reincarnation, there must be a something that outlives the body and takes a body when it is time to live another life. This is soul. Soul experiences. Soul learns. Soul needs a body to experience things here. It needs a body to see, hear, smell, taste, and feel. It needs to experience the mind’s memory, it’s intuition, and its subconscious, automatic processes.

Soul is the real you. It is a spark of God. God creates soul and soul exists because God loves it. Soul is forever. It never dies, it merely moves to another realm of existence when the human body dies. In this realm it interacts with other souls to continue its learning on another plane of existence. It can return here, it can go to other dimensions or planes, it will go where it needs to go to continue its spiritual journey.

I know this may be a little mind-blowing to some of you. I like using Saturdays to move away from the self-improvement chats and all the rest to dedicate one day a week to discuss my religion and some principles and insights it offers. I am not here to evangelize or push my beliefs down your throat. I merely want to educate. In ECKANKAR, we believe that each soul chooses the religious path it needs during this lifetime. Some souls select Islam, some Christianity, some Buddhism, some Judaism, or Hinduism. Regardless of the religion soul chooses, it is the perfect religion for that soul at the time. As an ECKIST, I believe this to be true. Your religion is yours and yours alone. It is exactly what you need in this lifetime to move ahead spiritually.

The viewpoint of soul is the highest. When you come to realize that soul is the real you, life gets a lot easier. Life isn’t scary anymore, when you realize that you have an infinite amount of lives left. Soul never dies. Soul is infinite. This life will come and go, but soul is forever. Soul takes all its experiences with it when this body finally goes to sleep for the last time. Soul needs these experiences to learn the lessons it needs to gain wisdom and progress spiritually.

Think about all the things you learn during a lifetime. You learn about love. You learn about work. You learn about loss and suffering. You learn about joy and ecstasy. You learn about horror and evil. Soul learns why the passions of the mind like lust, anger, greed, attachment, and vanity are dead ends. Over time, it learns that the virtues are ever-lasting. These are discrimination, tolerance/forgiveness, contentment, detachment, and humility.

When you are lustful, angry, greedy, attached to material things or ideas, or vain, there is a coinciding feeling, a pit in your stomach, an ache in your heart, or some other discomfort. When you are discriminating, tolerant and forgiving, content, detached, and humble, the feelings are lighter. You have a feeling that is long lasting. Things are just right. Soul needs to learn these things through millions of lives and even more experiences. It is the only way.

You are soul, a spiritual being, learning and experiencing through a human body, not the other way around. I wish all of you a Happy Easter tomorrow (for those that celebrate).

Baraka Bashad (May the blessings be).

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Living the Detached Life.

Tags

Attachment, change, David Allen, Detachment, Flux, Impermanence, Mind like Water, Suffering, The Buddha

“The root of suffering is attachment.”  – Buddha

I wanted to discuss the character trait of detachment today. Detachment is not a passive state of mind. Detachment doesn’t mean that you don’t care about achieving things or finishing projects. Detachment is a state of mind that does not rely on an idea, material item, or outside circumstances or person. Detachment allows a person to be free from desire. Following the Buddhist mindset, detachment frees us from suffering.

Think about how our reality is in constant flux. This flux means that your body, your possessions, your relationships, and even what you think you know today, will change. Anything that changes is, by definition, an illusion. Subsequently, if you attach yourself to things that will change, you are just asking for pain and suffering. David Allen, author of Getting Things Done provided one of the best explanations for this state of detachment. His statement about having a “… mind like water…” is the best explanation of a detached state. Think about that for a moment. Water does not overreact to anything. It reacts exactly enough to accommodate changes to its environment. When you throw a pebble into a pond, the pond accepts the pebble without over compensating to the entry of the pebble through the water’s surface tension. Once the pebble has passed through the water, it generates a wave that expands outward from the point of entry. This expansion is equal and consistent. Once the ripples dissipate, the water returns to its normal state. It accepts change, reacts just enough to accommodate the change, and then returns to its original state.

A mind like water can be the same as the pond. Something happens with your job, your health, a relationship, or something you depend on. It upsets you for a moment. Like the pond, you let your mind return to your state of calm. It takes time to develop this mentality, but if you realize that nothing is permanent in life and accept this premise, life smooths out. The changes come but they do not adversely affect you as much. You react like anyone does when a loss comes. You are angry, upset, sad, for a time, but that time period is much shorter than someone who has not achieved this state of mind—the detached mind. You enjoy what you have when you have it, but when it goes away, you remain grateful.

When you pursue something, enjoy achieving a goal, we can use the same mindset. You enjoy the victory for a moment but realize that it is time to pursue another goal. The pursuit provides meaning in our lives. It gives us something to work toward. It is the time during the pursuit where the growth happens. We learn a new skill; we learn a new discipline; we learn a new way of solving problems. This we can carry with us for the rest of our lives.

Attachment causes suffering. It sets us up for failure because whatever you own, including your own body will atrophy and fade away. To avoid this, remember who and what you are. You are not the body. You are not the mind. You are a soul. Notice the wording. I did not say it is your soul. That would signify that your body owns a soul. That is not true. The soul uses a body. No one owns or possesses a soul. You are soul and it has a body for its use during this lifetime. This may take a while to wrap your mind around, because using the phrase: “my soul or your soul” is so common in today’s society.

If you can accept this idea—that you are soul—your life will smooth out. You will lose your attachment to your body, your mind, your possessions, your job, your friends and relatives. You will lose your attachment to an ideology. None of these things will last. You are only “using” them while you are here. When you pass away, die, or what I call translating, you merely move to a different state of consciousness. Your body doesn’t come with you. Your possessions don’t come with you. Your relatives don’t come with you. You leave your money, your toys, and your loved ones at some point. So, enjoy these things while you have them. There’s nothing wrong with being grateful for what you have now. Detachment will relieve a great deal of pain, when these things inevitably go away. A detached state of mind knows of our fleeting existence here. It knows that nothing is permanent. It expects nothing. It accepts the blessings that are present and strives for the sake of striving, because the striving is where the experience, learning, and growth are. Whatever happens, because of this striving, is not of concern.

Well, I’ve given you a lot to think about. Try getting your mind wrapped around some points I’ve made here. You’ll find that your life will take on a new meaning and you will be ok when things you depended on go away. (They all will at some point).

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday -How We React is What Matters

Tags

Awareness, Balance, Detachment, Filters, Internal Maps, Negativity, Positivity, Reaction, reality

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”—Epictetus

There are so many things that happen to us that are out of our control. We get sick. We suffer during national disasters. The people in our lives betray us.

I’ve been doing a lot of research on the mind and have learned a great deal. Each of us has an internal filter. This filter causes us to miss, alter, or even delete the inputs we receive from our environment. This filtering is both unconscious and automatic. If our filter is healthy, there are no problems. If our filter is unhealthy, there are all kinds of problems.

Some people can look at a situation and see the good in it, regardless of the circumstances. Others could look at the same situation and see the worst. All of us do this. We test our environments and make judgements. These judgements affect the way we interpret our lives.

Have you ever noticed how some people are always experiencing one disaster after another? Everything seems to go wrong. Their health is bad, their outlook is mainly negative, and they expect the worst. The people in their lives cause problems, their decisions cause problems. All of this occurs because of their internal wiring. Because their perceptions and filters are on automatic, they cannot change what they see. Their lives perpetuate a vicious cycle because that’s all they can see.

The opposite of this person is someone who walks through life in bliss. Everything they touch turns to gold. Anything they try to do yields results. Their relationships are healthy. They are healthy. Their outlook is positive. Like their counterpart above, they automatically look for the good and this is what they get.

Most of us fall in between these two individuals. Some things that happen to us we feel bad about while other things happen that we feel good about. All of us have that weakness or outlook that plague us.

Regardless of our internal filters or maps, we all deal with reality. Reality is. Things happen to us. Our reaction to this reality dictates our mood. Some will look at a bad situation and see the good in it. Some will look at a bad situation and only see the bad. Some will rail against this reality and try to change it. They fail, become frustrated, and continue to complain about reality, which will not change.

What’s the solution to this problem? Acceptance and detachment. If we accept reality for what it is, we adapt to it. Detachment eases suffering. We expect nothing; we accept everything as it is. We can still set goals, pursue our interests, and strive for what we want, but remain in a detached state about our results. This detachment allows us to continue to strive and accept the results we have attained. Then we adjust and push forward again. We don’t get pissed; we don’t get ecstatic. We accept things for what they are, make the changes we can, and live with the rest in peace. We are in peace because our detachment allows us to be happy with what we have without expectation.

If you react to something in an inefficient or unhelpful manner, stop. Examine your internal processes. What triggers your reaction? If you can sit back and observe yourself being triggered, you can locate how you create this feeling. Once you understand how you create these inefficient feelings, you can change them. In most cases, once you realize something inside you that does not serve you, it will fade away. Your awareness is key.

I hope all of you have a terrific day!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Series Sunday – The Character Trait of Detachment

Tags

Attachment, Contentment, Detachment, Emotions, Letting go, pain, Suffering

“Everything is temporary; emotions, thoughts, people and scenery. Do not become attached, just flow with it.”—Anonymous

Detachment is the focus for this month. So, this month I’ll continue to work on discrimination, tolerance, forgiveness, and contentment. Each month I add one more character trait I want to work on, just like Benjamin Franklin did in his time.

Detachment relates to a practice of letting go. We live in a reality of constant change. Our health changes, our appearance changes, our situations change, and our relationships change. Tomorrow, you could lose everything. Detachment allows us to live a better life because it frees us from the emotional upheaval we experience when we lose something. Attachment in a constantly changing world is painful. Everyone around us will pass away at some point. Our pets will pass away. Our relatives and friends will pass away. We will pass away.

Detachment doesn’t mean we live an unfeeling life. Detachment means we live life to the fullest, appreciating what we have when we have it. It means to cherish what you have at the moment. Living a detached life allows us to be content with what we have and helps us avoid the lingering pain that occurs when we attach ourselves to something. Detached people, express pain for their loss and get on with their lives. It is not emotionless; it is realistic.

I hope all of you are having a great Sunday! Today is my do-nothing day. I’ll be relaxing, playing games, and doing what I want today. How about you?

Until next time…

Dave