Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Living the Detached Life.

Tags

Attachment, change, David Allen, Detachment, Flux, Impermanence, Mind like Water, Suffering, The Buddha

“The root of suffering is attachment.”  – Buddha

I wanted to discuss the character trait of detachment today. Detachment is not a passive state of mind. Detachment doesn’t mean that you don’t care about achieving things or finishing projects. Detachment is a state of mind that does not rely on an idea, material item, or outside circumstances or person. Detachment allows a person to be free from desire. Following the Buddhist mindset, detachment frees us from suffering.

Think about how our reality is in constant flux. This flux means that your body, your possessions, your relationships, and even what you think you know today, will change. Anything that changes is, by definition, an illusion. Subsequently, if you attach yourself to things that will change, you are just asking for pain and suffering. David Allen, author of Getting Things Done provided one of the best explanations for this state of detachment. His statement about having a “… mind like water…” is the best explanation of a detached state. Think about that for a moment. Water does not overreact to anything. It reacts exactly enough to accommodate changes to its environment. When you throw a pebble into a pond, the pond accepts the pebble without over compensating to the entry of the pebble through the water’s surface tension. Once the pebble has passed through the water, it generates a wave that expands outward from the point of entry. This expansion is equal and consistent. Once the ripples dissipate, the water returns to its normal state. It accepts change, reacts just enough to accommodate the change, and then returns to its original state.

A mind like water can be the same as the pond. Something happens with your job, your health, a relationship, or something you depend on. It upsets you for a moment. Like the pond, you let your mind return to your state of calm. It takes time to develop this mentality, but if you realize that nothing is permanent in life and accept this premise, life smooths out. The changes come but they do not adversely affect you as much. You react like anyone does when a loss comes. You are angry, upset, sad, for a time, but that time period is much shorter than someone who has not achieved this state of mind—the detached mind. You enjoy what you have when you have it, but when it goes away, you remain grateful.

When you pursue something, enjoy achieving a goal, we can use the same mindset. You enjoy the victory for a moment but realize that it is time to pursue another goal. The pursuit provides meaning in our lives. It gives us something to work toward. It is the time during the pursuit where the growth happens. We learn a new skill; we learn a new discipline; we learn a new way of solving problems. This we can carry with us for the rest of our lives.

Attachment causes suffering. It sets us up for failure because whatever you own, including your own body will atrophy and fade away. To avoid this, remember who and what you are. You are not the body. You are not the mind. You are a soul. Notice the wording. I did not say it is your soul. That would signify that your body owns a soul. That is not true. The soul uses a body. No one owns or possesses a soul. You are soul and it has a body for its use during this lifetime. This may take a while to wrap your mind around, because using the phrase: “my soul or your soul” is so common in today’s society.

If you can accept this idea—that you are soul—your life will smooth out. You will lose your attachment to your body, your mind, your possessions, your job, your friends and relatives. You will lose your attachment to an ideology. None of these things will last. You are only “using” them while you are here. When you pass away, die, or what I call translating, you merely move to a different state of consciousness. Your body doesn’t come with you. Your possessions don’t come with you. Your relatives don’t come with you. You leave your money, your toys, and your loved ones at some point. So, enjoy these things while you have them. There’s nothing wrong with being grateful for what you have now. Detachment will relieve a great deal of pain, when these things inevitably go away. A detached state of mind knows of our fleeting existence here. It knows that nothing is permanent. It expects nothing. It accepts the blessings that are present and strives for the sake of striving, because the striving is where the experience, learning, and growth are. Whatever happens, because of this striving, is not of concern.

Well, I’ve given you a lot to think about. Try getting your mind wrapped around some points I’ve made here. You’ll find that your life will take on a new meaning and you will be ok when things you depended on go away. (They all will at some point).

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesdays

Tags

change, David Allen, habits, Improving, Paul Twitchell, Stephen Covey, Stephen Guise, Truth

“It is easy to hate, and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve, and bad things are very easy to get.” – Confucius

Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/confucius_119273

Ever wonder why things that are bad for us are so easy to do and the things that are good for us are so hard to do? I have read a string of books by Stephen Guise and this is one thing that pervades his work. The bad things that are easy for us to do are there because they are easy and bring almost immediate rewards. Because they are easy and bring rewards each time, we do them, they become habits.

Conversely, the good things we want to do for ourselves are not so easy. They must be learned or practiced, which takes time. They also give us rewards but they are not instantaneous.

Bad habits like binge-watching television, eating junk food, or mindlessly surfing the Internet are all so easy to do and rewarding. We literally need zero effort to accomplish these things.

Good habits like reading every day, writing every day, exercising every day, or learning every day take work. They deliver tremendous benefits over the long-term but only if we make them habitual.

Our brains are wired to resist change. When you have a food manufacturer that offers a “healthy” option that takes 3 minutes in a microwave to prepare—beware. The rewards for this option are easy to cook and get into our bellies. The huge disadvantages are the chemical soup that is within each of these so-called, “healthy” meals, the overabundance of salt, sugar, and fat, and the preservatives, unnatural coloring, and processing that occurs that change whole foods into “Franken foods” (Stephen Guise uses this in a book I just finished about weight loss.)

If you are unsatisfied with your life, look at what you do every day. Are you on autopilot or are you making conscious choices about how you fill your day? Are you moving toward anything meaningful or are you just filling your day with meaningless activities?

I’m not trying to guilt you out. I am merely asking the question. If you are totally happy with your life as it is—don’t change it.

If you are unhappy with your life, take some time to contemplate what is missing. Take inventory of how you feel. Examine your emotional states. Are you bored? Are you stressed? Do you feel terrible and apt to get sick more than most people? Do you have back problems or issues with obesity? Are you depressed?

If any of these things sound like you and you’re tired of feeling or being this way, take some steps to make a change. You don’t have to strike out on some crazy crusade. Too big of a change will not work. You will try for a day or so and digress to your old patterns and behaviors. Make really small changes. Changes that don’t require too much willpower or motivation to accomplish.

If you’re wondering why I ask all these questions and tend to gravitate toward this subject matter on most of my postings, there is a reason. I used to be that guy. I could play video games for 24 hours a day. I could binge watch entire seasons of shows on Netflix, all while stuffing my face with absolute garbage. What was the result? A back surgery that put me down for 2 years, walking around with a back brace. Massive weight gains up to 247lbs before I put a stop to that. The loss of not one, but three separate marriages. I also filed for bankruptcy—twice!

I’m trying to provide advice to people who may be in the same situation as I was. It is a horrible place to be when you realize one morning that you can’t make yourself do what you know you should do. I was really in a very dark place.

How did I turn things around? I took some time to do some research. I began searching for information about how we form habits. I began looking for information about how to make changes. I began to examine the things other successful people were doing each day that made a difference in their lives.

My searches resulted in some books that I re-read every year. These books are here for you. Read these books and put the suggestions they offer to good use. These books changed my life for the better and will do the same for you—promise.

Booklist:

• Mini Habits by Stephen Guise
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
• Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-free Productivity by David Allen
• The Shariyat-Ki-Sugmad by Paul Twitchell

These books helped me create a personal framework for self-improvement. They gave me categories of life to cultivate. They gave me a meaningful way to write down my goals, plan my weeks and days, and utilize an “outside brain” instead of depending on my own brain for everything. They taught me how to make very small changes that have a lasting and awesome impact. They opened my mind to wisdom, truth, and provided me with an architecture of what our existence is truly about.

My levels of self-discipline, motivation, and determination are on an entirely different plane. I found that our improvement never ceases. There will always be another plateau to reach, another level of proficiency to attain, a new area to explore. It all starts with very small steps.

If you are tired of the way things are in your life, take some time to read one of these books. I would recommend Stephen Guise’s book first. It is the easiest read and contains the means of starting your transformation with very little effort. His book is the one that jump-started my journey.

I wish you well.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Daily Quote – Thinking before doing

Tags

Contemplation, David Allen, Execution, Getting Things Done, Learning from Others, Prioritization, reflection

“Follow effective actions with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.” – Peter Drucker

Anytime I’ve taken the time to really think through a project before I begin working on it, the more effective I am. It took me a long time to realize the wisdom in this. I, like a lot of my colleagues, would just jump in and get working only to find out we wasted time, missed critical steps, or hit the wrong target.

This quote offers a simple truth: Anything we create is first created in our mind, then brought into reality. I accomplish this kind of work by thinking about what I want to do. Then, I take some time to research, investigate, inquire about what it will take to accomplish a certain goal. Most of the time, someone else has already done this. So, it makes sense to look at what steps they took and then use this as a model for my own projects. Obviously, there may be some unique steps you need to incorporate to accomplish your specific goals but always remain open to other people’s experiences. They may offer a way to do something that helps avoid problems they already experienced.

This idea was reinforced by David Allen in his book Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-free productivity. He talks about the natural planning model, which looks like this:

• Defining Purpose and Principles
• Outcome visioning
• Brainstorming
• Organizing
• Identifying Next Actions

Each of these steps is natural to the way we create things. We first develop an idea and begin thinking about how that idea would look in our reality. We then brainstorm and research all of the things we need to do to make our idea a real thing. We then organize the actions we uncover during our research and brainstorming and then begin working through these actions in the form of next actions.

The real challenge in using this model or way of working is to take the time to really reflect. What do we want? How do we get what we want? Take your time. Think. Then execute. After you begin executing the action steps you’ve devised, you’ll begin to realize some gaps or the need for further action steps, particularly if this is something you’ve never done before. That’s ok. The key is to reflect each day on what we did yesterday, plan what we will do tomorrow, and execute.

Planning becomes easier when we learn the length of time it takes to do something, it also helps us figure out what is really important for the next day and helps us complete things in the order we’ve set them to be executed. Take some time at the end of your day or at the beginning of your day to choose which action steps you’ll take and then get them on your calendar, keeping in mind all of the other commitments you have made (dentist appointments, gym time, etc.). Once you have your plan in place, just knock out the steps. Then do the same thing the next day.

David Allen defines a project as a task which contains more than one step to accomplish. Subsequently, you probably have a lot more projects to accomplish than you would initially think. Take the time to brainstorm each of these projects. What do you need to do first? What do you need to do next? What other steps need to be added based on your current activities? Take the time to think through all of these things and you’ll get closer and closer to your goals much sooner and in a more organized fashion. You’ll also capture the things you learned along the way, so if you ever tackle this type of project again, you’ll have a much easier time knocking that one off of your to-do list the next time around.

Well, that’s it for today, folks. I hope you have a great Wednesday!

Until next time.

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Daily Quote – Pablo Picasso – Procrastination

Tags

David Allen, Discomfort, Fear, Getting Things Done, Pablo Picasso, Procrastination, To-do Lists

“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” – Pablo Picasso

Well, this quote deals with procrastination.

Why do we procrastinate? There are quite a few reasons. These reasons can all be distilled to two things—Fear and Discomfort.

We fear we’ll screw up. We’ll fear that we aren’t good enough. We’ll fear that we’re wasting time.

Discomfort deals with those tasks we just don’t want to do. We don’t want to clean our home, cook that meal, or go to the gym. They are all uncomfortable. Most people don’t want to do these things. So, we put things off and off and off and we end up adding to a pile of things we haven’t done that we should have.

How do we counter procrastination? By taking action. We do something. Whether it’s writing a page toward your new book, grabbing a vacuum cleaner and do one room in your house, or grabbing that first dirt dish and putting in the dishwasher. Take action, regardless of how small that thing we have to do is.

Once you complete this little action you’ll feel better. You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment. You’ll feel relief that you did one thing on that long list of to-dos.

Or don’t. It’s your life. You can let the things you need to do pile up and get to a point where you won’t know where to start. You’ll be paralyzed. Your stress levels will increase because things that are not done produce stress, particularly if you know you have to do them at some point.

So, take some time today to brainstorm and write all of the things down you need to do. Some of these things will be daily activities that you’ll have to add to some sort of checklist. Others will be “one and done” tasks. You do them once and they’re done. Others will be more complex and tasks that may take a few months to complete. With these, you’ll have to spend some time breaking that task down into meaningful steps and knock each one out as you go in the order that makes the most sense to you.

One book I read every year is Getting Things Done by David Allen. This is one of the best “how to” books on personal time management there is. I highly recommend it. The book will give you a system of tracking your tasks, executing those tasks, and how to keep moving forward. I highly recommend it.

Well, that’s it for today folks.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Daily Quote – Multitasking is a No Go

Tags

Dan Millman, David Allen, Getting Things Done, Mono-tasking, Multitasking, Time Chunking

Today’s quote:

“I learned that we can do anything, but we can’t do everything…at least not at the same time.” – Dan Millman

I used to be a consummate multitasker. I’d be on the phone, while looking at my email, thinking about a project later that is coming due, and gandering at Facebook or a menu at a restaurant I was contemplating for lunch. Obviously, this is a horrific way to conduct business.

The book that got me thinking this way was Getting Things Done, by David Allen. In his book, he talks about categorizing tasks into contexts. These contexts could be phone calls, computer work, reading, writing, etc. By putting your to-dos in a context-driven format, you will be more focused on getting “like” things done. For example, if I have to call 40 people today, I focus on making those calls in one big chunk on my calendar. Time chunking is a great way to remain focused on one single group of to-dos.

As you move from one call to the next, you become more efficient as you go, because this is a collection of tasks that all require the same actions. Look at the number, type the number into your phone, dial the number, run through your agenda with the person your talking with, terminate the call, and document the call in your CRM software.

You can do this with anything you have to do. I chunk my time to do the writing for school, writing for my blog, writing for my book. I chunk my time into reading the various books I have on my reading list. I chunk the time for hitting the gym and exercising. I chunk the time for eating, meditation, etc.

I combine this chunking with a disciplined use of the Pomodoro technique to remain focused on the one thing my “time chunk” has me doing. If you can run your day this way, I promise you will see a huge jump in your productivity.

The lesson today: Do one thing at a time or group like things into a time chunk on your calendar. Use some means of timing yourself so you stay focused on that task(s) until your timer goes off and it’s time to take a break.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Daily Quote

Tags

David Allen, Getting Things Done, GTD, Next Actions, Organization, Planning, To-do Lists

Today’s Quote:

“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they started.” – David Allen

If you have not read David Allen’s Book, Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity, I highly recommend it.

His book will open your eyes to how efficient you can become by merely capturing all of your next actions and learning how to put them into various silos that indicate what status a particular next action is in. For example, if you have to do something, but that something needs someone else to do something first, you can put that into a silo called “waiting for”. This is just one example of the many tricks in David Allen’s Getting Things Done (GTD) methodology.

I cannot recommend this book enough. Click on the title above and it will take you to Amazon.com to purchase. I’m not an affiliate or anything. I read this book annually and it is just terrific.

Well, that’s it for today folks.

Until next time…

Dave