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Tag Archives: Communicating

Daily Ramblings – Spiritual Saturday – Journaling

22 Saturday Aug 2020

Posted by Dave Gardner in Spiritual Saturday

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Tags

blog, Book, Communicating, crystallize, Dream Journal, Imagination, journal, Story, Writing

Some days I open up this window of my life and have absolutely nothing to say. I’m a blank slate. I stare at the whiteness of the background, waiting for something to come and it doesn’t. Some would call this “writer’s block.” Perhaps it is.

There is always something to write about, however. Some writers I’ve learned from suggest that you just free-write about anything. Others recommend working on a different writing project. Still others recommend a walk or some other activity.

If you’re a fiction writer, you know that stories unfold. It is rare that you will write out something as complicated as a novel without taking breaks or working on different aspects of a plot. It is the same for any writing project. The work begins as an idea, translated to the page, then alters itself as the author refines the story and crystallizes the pictures to the page.

The dream journal is a writing project. It brings your dreams to the page. Unlike other writing projects, your dream journal or personal journal is “for your eyes only”. Subsequently, you just write in it. Grammar doesn’t matter, spelling doesn’t matter, nothing matters but getting the things in your head onto paper or a digital document.

The more you journal, the more you can get out of your head. You can settle things with yourself. You can iron out past mistakes, relationships that didn’t work, failures, successes. Whatever you bring to your journal is something you needed to get out of your head.

Journaling is a way to talk to future generations. When you’ve left this life, your journal will be left behind. Can you imagine what wisdom is embedded in those pages for future generations. Do you think Marcus Aurelius ever thought someone would publish his journals? What about Seneca, Epictetus, Virginia Wolfe?

Writing is your way to communicate. It is a way of making the imagination come alive and join our world. Have a great Saturday!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Ted Talk Tuesday!

11 Tuesday Sep 2018

Posted by Dave Gardner in Ted Talk

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Tags

Books, Communicating, Connecting, Entertained, History, Language, Learning, Lisa Bu, Reading, Time period

I have always been an avid reader. I tend to read many books at once because I like to learn new things but also like a good story. Reading can do a lot of things for you. It can improve your vocabulary. It can open your mind to new ideas. It can also help you connect with an author from a time period long gone. When I read a book from an author who has passed away I try to envision what it was like to be alive when they wrote the book. I look at the differences in language. I look at what was going on in the world when they wrote the book.

If you have never performed this exercise, try it out. It can be very informative and provides a greater backdrop to why an author wrote the book, what the language was like, and so many other aspects. Uncle Tom’s Cabin is a book I’m reading now. It was written at a time when slavery was commonplace in the United States.

This book was written around 1851. The civil war would not begin for another 10 years. Many believe that her work, along with the many works provided by other abolitionists helped provide the moral framework and impetus to end slavery in the United States.

The next time you read a book, look at the publication date. Go to your library or do an online search of things that happened in that year. You’ll be amazed at what you find and this exercise will make reading your book so much more meaningful.

I hope you enjoy this short Ted Talk on reading books. It is inspiring, funny, and provides numerous reasons for sitting down and reading a good book.

Until next time…

Dave

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Daily Ramblings – Daily Quote

02 Friday Jun 2017

Posted by Dave Gardner in Quotes

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Communicating, Concise, John Wayne, speaking, speech

“Talk low, talk slow and don’t say too much.” John Wayne

I grew up watching John Wayne on Television and at the movie theater. He was one of my childhood heroes.

His quote above is not from one of his movies. It suggests good communication. This quote requires us to take the time to speak clearly, at a normal level of volume, and to speak concisely. By doing so, we save our listeners time. Our message is clear and easily understood.

This is something I continue to think about. I tend to be a little “wordy” when I speak, sometimes missing the point I’m trying to make altogether because I think I like to hear myself speak 😊. This practice is not a good one since it tends to take away our ability to truly get our point across and allow another person to clarify what we have said and then respond.

This is a terrific pointer for me and one that I will carry with me. I want to be a better verbal communicator. This will save time, make conversation with me more fluid, and allow others to interact with me more easily.

Does this make sense to everyone? If so, feel free to acknowledge that in the comments or even provide examples of situations when you were too wordy.

Thanks for stopping by!

See you tomorrow…

Daily Ramblings – The Social Dimension

08 Wednesday Mar 2017

Posted by Dave Gardner in Four Dimensions of Life

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Commitments, Communicating, family, Friends, Husband, Listening, Lover, Synergy, Wife

Human beings are definitely social entities. We all want friends. Most of us want to be with our families. We enjoy our children. We enjoy going out and doing things with our loved ones and friends. The list goes on and on.

The Social Dimension of life is yet another part of the four dimensions of life described by Steven Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This dimension is critical to effectiveness because it requires that we interact with others. We have to listen. We have to make our point. We have to keep our agreements. We have to protect. We have to love others. We have to serve others.

Here are some key points. The habits that address this dimension are Habit 4, Habit 5, and Habit 6. All of these habits compose what Covey calls the public victory. Habits 4, 5, and 6 are dependent on a person’s ability to do Habits 1, 2, and 3. Habit 4 is “Think Win-Win.” Habit 5 is “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Habit 6 is “Synergize”.

Habit 4

Let’s start with thinking win-win. In order for us to survive as a species, we all have commitments and agreements we enter into. To make money, we have to show up to work on time, perform our jobs to our employer’s satisfaction, and interact with others to accomplish the goals of our employer. This requires that we agree to certain things in exchange for certain things. We also make commitments to the phone company, the bank, the utility companies and so on, that we will pay a certain amount of money each month at a specified time for the services these entities provide us. Beyond these common agreements, there are other agreements that we also have committed to.

If you are married, you commit to taking care of your partner, remaining in the relationship, and being true to them. These are the implied commitments we make when we take our vows or holy sacraments. What about chores, paying the bills, fixing the cars, getting up to feed the baby, and all of these little mini-agreements. Win-Win agreements mean that both parties are satisfied with these agreed-upon relationships. The Husband wins and the Wife wins. When we keep our word, perform something nice for our partner without any expectation of reward, we make a deposit in what Dr. Covey calls the “emotional bank account”. Think about it. Isn’t it nice to come home to find a clean home, the smell of a meal permeating the kitchen, and your wife smiling when you walk in the door? To flip the tables, isn’t it nice when you are in bed and sick, to have a husband waiting on you hand and foot to take care of you and your responsibilities while you get well? This is the Win-Win habit.

Habit 5

Seeking first to understand, then to be understood is all about communication. This habit dictates that we listen and speak in the same proportion that we have a mouth and two ears. It is more than active listening (uh huh, etc.), or even reflective listening (so you are saying this, is that right?). It is empathic listening, which Covey describes as really being able to sense what another person is saying by the combination of what they say and more importantly what they do not say. It also involves non-judgement. It is truly offering what Covey calls psychological air. The ability to discuss anything without judgment or interruption until you truly understand what the other person is communicating. Once you have confirmed your understanding, then, and only then, do you get to make your point. Interestingly, Covey states that if you truly follow this method of listening, many times there is nothing to add on your side because you ultimately end up agreeing with them. If not, both parties are both very open to one another’s ideas and are really geared up to committing to a win-win solution to a problem.

Habit 6

Synergy occurs when we can create more together than we could working alone. The best example of this is having a child. A man or women could not produce a baby on their own. They need the opposite to do this. In this case, 1 + 1 = 3. This is synergy. But it is even more dramatic when you have more than one person. In these cases, you could have 1 + 1 + 1 = 5, 10, or 1000. The state of synergy is all about a team of people who interlock like a puzzle. Each contributes their special talents to the team’s efforts to create things that no one or two people could create themselves.

People vs. Things

One more point as we wrap up this week’s installment to the Four Dimensions. Things don’t take a lot of time, but people do. It takes time to build a relationship of trust. It takes time to cultivate a long-term relationship. People need time.

If this article accomplishes anything, I would hope it would inspire people to take care of their relationships. Spend time with your kids, spend time with your wife or husband, spend time with your good friends or lovers. Really spend time with them.

When you go out to eat with a loved one, put the cell phone away. I swear to God. If you go to any restaurant today, it is guaranteed you’ll see two people sitting in front of one another looking at their phones. Not talking, but texting and interacting on social media. Is there anything more upside down than that? I hate to tell you this folks, but the people you think are your friends on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn aren’t. There is a caveat to this: If it’s your Mom, Brother, Sister, cousins, wife or husband, that’s the exception. At best, and I really mean at best, these folks are electronic pen pals. You are not going to establish a meaningful relationship with someone by clicking like on a funny video they posted yesterday or retweeting a quote they posted. You build relationships, meaningful relationships by doing things that are meaningful to them.

Going to a Star Wars movie when your girlfriend isn’t into that isn’t a gesture that builds a relationship unless she is going to please you. Going to a “girly movie” that she will enjoy, even though you don’t, is what I’m talking about. Doing something for someone else because you love them and you know they enjoy those things is what matters. Particularly if you do not expect anything in return. Making your wife a nice breakfast on Sunday morning, even if you can’t cook that well is another example. Bring home flowers just because. Going shopping with her and watching how her eyes light up when she sees a dress she wants or a nice pair of shoes. Going to a coffee shop and letting her tell you about her week and just listening. Spending time with your Mom and Dad, hanging out with your brother, taking your dog for a walk (Animals are people too). Hopefully, you get the gist of this.

Putting this into Action

Plan your week and identify the people you want to spend time with. Real time. Maybe it’s a night out with your wife. Maybe it’s helping your brother with a home project, followed by a home-cooked meal. Maybe it’s playing Scrabble with your Mom or watching a movie with Dad. Whatever your ideas are, plan them out and commit to going and leaving more than enough time to really spend a good amount of time with the important people in your life. It all pays off, believe me. It all comes back to you.

Until next time…

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