Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – We Know So Little

Tags

Attitudes, Beliefs, Cars, change, Detachment, Homes, Loved ones, Property, wisdom

“True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.” – Socrates

Each of us has an inner voice. Some call it conscience. It is that part of us that truly knows the difference between right and wrong. We all have access to it, but many refuse to listen. It’s that voice that guides us. The more you listen to that voice, the louder it becomes. When you ignore the voice, it dwindles until you can barely hear it.

I believe our conscience is necessary because it comes from a source unaffected by the change that occurs around us. We have adapted to the world we live in using the senses we have. These sense inputs create a map we need to survive. How accurate are they? Not so much. Our internal maps are only as good as the input we have received, which may have changed. People change. Environments change. We change. The internal maps inside us remain the same until we receive new inputs and those inputs cause our brains to adjust the map we use. When things change to quickly or without our knowledge, we are thrown into chaos.

The wisdom we gain over time, accepts that our internal maps are not reality, but a pseudo-reality that we need to make sense of the world. Wisdom tells us that what we think we know, we really don’t. It tells us that change occurs and we must expect it. It tells us that the map we have is inaccurate. This wisdom is comforting because it helps us realize that nothing is permanent in this world and if we are unattached to it, life becomes easier. We no longer fear losing something or losing someone because losing only applies when we are attached to something. Attachment in this case means we have an unhealthy relationship with physical things that will leave us. Attachment only causes suffering. Detachment frees us from wanting or needing. We are happy with what we have at the moment and will be just as happy if something changes in the next moment.

Wisdom tells us that the only things we can keep are those things we have earned inwardly. The love you have in your heart is yours forever. No one can take away your love for God, love for your significant other, love for your pet, love for your family, or love for yourself. The love you have is yours to keep forever.

Your car, your home, your loved ones, your pets, your job, your toys, and your life will all end. When your life ends, none of these things will go with you. The only things you will take with you are the experiences you have and the love you have in your heart.

Detachment is not an easy thing to achieve. Some consider it a heartless state. How can I not care about my husband or wife dying? How can I not care about losing my home in a tornado? The state of detachment is not a state of “not caring”. It is a state of balance. Losses and disappointments will cause the detached person to mourn. It is natural to mourn a negative situation. Detachment allows us to mourn a loss and then move on, without being stuck. It allows us to heal more quickly because the people, things, and experiences we “lost” were never really ours. If we never own something, can we truly be unhappy or sad when they leave us?

 

No. Detachment means we enjoy what we have to the fullest, while we have it. Then, when it comes time for something to leave our lives, we let it go. We move on. We move in a new direction. Detachment is the wisest state to be in when you are dealing with a physical reality in perpetual change.

I hope each of you has a terrific Wednesday! Thank you for reading this today!

Until next time…

Dave

 

 

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday

Tags

Attitudes, Individuality, Influence, motivation, Nonintererence, Self-Leadership, Uniqueness

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/ralph_waldo_emerson_101322?src=t_wisdom

When I read this quote I think about individuality. I think about what is good for me, what I want, where I want to go, and what I want to do with my life. I think this is a common thread of thought for most. We all contemplate what tomorrow will bring and how to improve our circumstances.

Individuality is something I have come to embrace. I like doing what I want. Making choices that I truly think about making, rather than being convinced by some outside source about what I should be doing, what I ought to buy, where to live, how to speak, and all the rest. Society tries to make us conformists.

Conformity must be attained for any semblance of order. We all know that certain acts are unlawful or frowned upon. We all know that certain types of language are intolerable. What I’m referring to here is the ability to think for oneself. The ability to act with autonomy. The ability to make choices that are informed by individual curiosity and research. The ability to live one’s life without too much outside interference or influence.

If you take a moment and examine your life, think about the things you do unconsciously. Are they truly your choice or are you acting in a way that others “expect” you to? Look at the things you own. Do you really use these things or are they sitting in a corner collecting dust? Do you exercise, learn, contemplate because you want to or someone else has told you to?

Are there things you would like to do with your life that you avoid because of outside pressures? Are there goals you would like to pursue but afraid to because of the social backlash? I think what I’ve been discussing here is what Emerson is talking about.

I choose to pursue the goals I want to because I want to. I live the life I do because I have begun to realize that reality is not worth fighting with. I have gained a great amount of peace in my life because I have learned to accept reality—the things I cannot affect or change. There are things in our lives like the weather and the actions of other people that we have ZERO control over. Why fret over these things?

I have mentioned this a few other times in my various blog postings but it merits repeating. Stop worrying about the things you cannot control and focus on controlling the things you can control. You can control your attitude. You can control how you react to outside circumstances. You can control what you focus your time and effort into. These sentences all start with you because you are all you have control over.

If you focus on you, you will be more effective. If you focus on reacting less to outside circumstances and more on an internal character you will be more effective. You cannot control what other people do. In fact, you will be wasting your time in most cases. I’m not talking about your children. You must exert some control over them while you guide and teach them to thrive in life as they approach adulthood. What I am talking about is your peers, your adult relatives, anyone who can do something for themselves but chooses not to.

You cannot motivate other people to do something that they really do not want to. You cannot help a friend get in shape who refuses to exercise or eat right. You cannot help a loved one who is suffering from health issues because they drink and smoke. You cannot help a loved one pass an exam in their degree program if they do not want to do the work. You cannot change a bad boss or a bad employee or a bad friend. The only thing you can do is to accept these people for who they are and focus on yourself. Sometimes people will see you and be affected. They will say to themselves, “I’d like to be like her. She is so organized. She is in such great shape. She seems so together all the time.”

I’m not advising you to be aloof and cold. If a friend or relative approach you for help—give it to them. What I’m talking about is the active attempt to try and change someone—change someone for their own good. This is where you’ll get into trouble. You’ll get into trouble because your motivation to get in shape or learn or pursue goals isn’t their priority. Do not interfere with someone’s life unless you are asked for help. They are individuals too and the choices they make for themselves are their responsibility—not yours. Worry about yourself. Pursue the things you want to pursue. Trailblaze a path that is unique to your aspirations and interests.

Focus your efforts on you. Focus on what you can control. Pursue the things that are interesting to you and motivate and inspire you. Just be yourself and ignore the pressures outside of you.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Daily Quote – Attitudes

Tags

Attitudes, Choices, Contentment, Gratitude, Happiness, Obstacles, Tools

“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them.” – William Arthur Ward

What obstacles are in your way? What challenges are you experiencing? Are they really challenges/obstacles?

This quote deals with our attitude. Everything we deal with in our reality and the way we react to these things render our lives happy and content or unhappy and discontent. It is interesting when you can really take account of what is going on in your life and simply say “It’s all good.”

I think the biggest challenge we face is accepting reality for what it is. There are certain things that are just out of our control. You can be angry about them, sad about them, or happy and content. It really is a choice.

It took me a very long time to figure this out. Like many, if I wasn’t making the money I wanted, had the gal I wanted, lived in the place I wanted, etc. life sucked. Then I began to realize that the endless pursuit of “things” was fruitless. That certain part of me that had a hunger for this nonsense would never be satisfied. It would always want more. It would always be demanding and unsatisfied.

Then, one day I came to the realization that we have all we need. I began minimalizing my life. Why did I need a computer, laptop, tablet, and phone, when I only needed one computer and a phone? Why did I need all the clothes I had, when I could only wear one outfit a day? Slowly, but surely, I donated, sold, and got rid of a lot of stuff. Now, I could literally move at a moment’s notice without too much fuss. I don’t have a lot of things to take care of, because I don’t own a lot of things. Life became simpler. Life became easier. I was happier. I was calmer.

I think much of our wants, our needs, our goals, are driven by society and our social relationships. We compete silently to get the same car or nicer one, the same house or bigger one, the same computer or a faster one, not realizing that the companies selling these products influenced us into this never-ending race of purchasing and needing and desiring.

When I decided to “make my own rules”. I began to realize how simple life is and how happy we can be with very little. I have a roof over my head. I have enough food. I have a place to sleep. My health is good. I also realized that the goals I was pursuing were not mine, but society’s.

I don’t need a lot of money. I don’t need a snappy new car or a lot of clothes. I only need the basics to survive and thrive. Now, I wake up each day fresh and ready to go. I reflect on what I am grateful for—and I am grateful for everything. But you know, I could live with even less if I needed to and still be happy. I am happy because I choose to be.

When you wake up and come at life with happiness and gratitude in your heart, nothing can throw you off course. The rocks in your path really do become the tools you use to build the road with.

You have a choice.

Until next time…

Dave