“As we come out of our childhood of spirituality into greater states, we learn to let people be.”—Harold Klemp The Language of Soul
Each of us is a unique being. We may possess similar traits to others in our circle but none of us are the same. We each arrive at the present day in our lives with baggage, nicks, cuts, and bruises—life can be tough sometimes. Each piece of baggage, each nick, each cut, and each bruise are an experience. These experiences add to the fabric of our uniqueness.
What is our first reaction when people complain to us? Give them a suggestion or try and help them solve their problem. What is the first reaction when you see someone struggling with something? We want to jump right in and help. In some cases, the help is welcomed; at other times it is not, even if the person you are trying to help doesn’t say anything out of politeness.
Regardless of your religious worldview, each path prescribes a way to be more God-like. There are things you can do and there are things you cannot do. Another reason for our existence here is to learn.
Have you ever been working on a crossword puzzle only to be told the answer to a part of it without asking for help? Have you ever been given advice when you didn’t ask for it? Frustrating isn’t it?
This is what letting others be means. If someone solicits your help—help. If they do not—do not. Some people need to struggle with their answers. We cheat them if we jump in and interfere without their permission. This is what non-interference means.
Non-interference means that we only help when people ask. We let people deal with their lives, their problems, and their issues and concerns on their own until they ask for help. If we jump in too quickly we cheat them out of the learning, the experience, the struggle they are here to get through.
In many cases, people just want to vent and be listened to. People want to be validated–to be understood. They aren’t looking for charity or help—they just want to be listened to. When a person wants your help, they will give you some indication that they need help. If they ask for help or advice, give it to them at that point.
Here are some things that will happen if you interfere when a person is not looking for help. They will resent your help. They will stop telling you about their problems. They will stop contacting or connecting with you. No one wants to be preached to.
Give people the physical and psychological space to work out their own problems. Believe me. When they want your help, they will ask you. In the meantime, be a shoulder to lean on. Be a person who will listen and empathize with them without judgment. Over time your relationship will grow stronger and they will come to you when it’s time.
Enjoy your Saturday! For my American readers, enjoy the Labor Day weekend! I hope everyone is taking the time to connect with friends and family, getting out and about, and recharging the batteries for your start of the work-week on Tuesday.
Until next time…