Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Empowered vs. Disempowered People

Tags

change, Disempowerment, Effort, Empowerment, habits, Hard Work, Initiative, Persistence

“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.” – Jacob M. Braude

I have had to learn this lesson many times throughout my life. I run across a friend. I see them struggling with a challenge, neglecting their health, or giving up on life, and I want to jump right in and try to show them the error of their ways. Then, after a few weeks or months, realize that they are not going to do anything about their situation. Have you ever run into this?

You see, people are who they are. Deep down, all of us know our weaknesses. Some people ignore them. Others have tried to make a change and realized that they are too weak to change ingrained habits. They have settled with these weaknesses and literally given up. The pain of change is too great a price for these folks to pay.

If you have a friend or colleague that has glaring weaknesses that are ruining their life, you have two choices: Remain their friend or colleague and accept these weaknesses in their character or cut them loose. They will not change because you want them to. They will not change because it is in their best interest. They will only change when the weakness they possess becomes so painful that they must change themselves.

Regardless of your opinion, people are happy with the lives they have chosen to live. You may think to yourself, “God, how do you live like that?”, but this isn’t your life—it’s theirs. Happiness is defined by each of us. What makes you happy will not necessarily make your friend or colleague happy.

You also have to examine whether the person you are dealing with is empowered or disempowered. Empowered people believe they are in charge of themselves. Disempowered people believe they are ruled by outside influences and circumstances. The empowered person is the champion who conquers adversity and overcomes their weaknesses. The disempowered person is the victim who gives up and lives with their weaknesses. See the difference?

If you are empowered, you will have very little in common with people who are disempowered. In fact, disempowered people will frustrate you to no end. Empowered people learn, apply the learning to their current circumstances, and alter themselves to improve their performance, their career, and their productivity. Disempowered people have given up; they are convinced that outside circumstances and other people our “out to get them” and blame their failure on these outside elements. Disempowered people have given up on taking action or trying to change—they have made quitting a habit. Empowered people keep trying out new ideas, new options, and look for solutions—they persist, because they know they will win if they keep trying.

Change is hard. It is hard because the habits we have built for ourselves are hard-wired in our brains. To make changes, you have to learn how to unravel these knots in your brain and create new wiring; wiring that will serve you better now and in the future. To do that, you need to know how to exploit the same processes in your brain that created the bad habits in the first place. You also need to be self-aware enough to identify which of these hard-wired scripts no longer serve you.

One of the best books I’ve ever read on making changes is Mini-Habits by Steven Guise. The Mini-Habit is simply a habit that is so small that you would have to be on your deathbed in order to fail to do it. Steven’s first mini-habit was a single push-up every day. After he had managed to master this habit, he added writing 50 words a day and reading 2 pages a day in a book he chose to tackle. The genius behind the mini-habit is that it is so small, you can easily accomplish this habit without too much thought, stress, or willpower. In fact, this is the reason Stephen is such an advocate of the process. He researched willpower and motivation and found that both aspects of our makeup are too weak to overcome the hard-wired habits in our brain, especially when you consider all the other stressors in your life and how they eat away at your willpower and motivation to begin with. There is one warning he provides, however. Mini-habits, even though they are small, must be meaningful. One push up a day is meaningful towards improving your health. Writing 50 words a day is meaningful toward writing an essay, a blog post, or even a book. Reading 2 pages a day will help you finish that book in a shorter period than not reading a book at all or reading a bunch of pages one day and then failing to touch that book for a month before reading it again.

The real benefit of mini-habits is the ability to get started on something. Once you get started on a mini-habit, you will build momentum. Once you build momentum, you will be motivated to do more than one push-up, write 50 words, or read 2 pages. You’ll likely do more exercises, write 100 words or more, and read an entire chapter of your book. This momentum will build and build, particularly if you add rewards at critical milestones.

I’ve used mini-habits since I read his book a few years ago. In fact, I’m such a huge fan, I re-read this book each year in December as I build out my goals for the next year. If you want to make changes in your life and you just haven’t been able to find anything that will help you build a new habit or make these changes, give Mini-Habits a try, you won’t be disappointed. Here’s a link to Mini-Habits on Amazon: Mini-Habits by Stephen Guise (I am not an affiliate for Mr. Guise, his book, or Amazon).

To conclude this article, I’d like to remind you that changing yourself is hard, but not impossible. You have to be persistent, utilize a strategy that will work, and monitor your progress. Don’t worry about your spouse, your friends, or your relatives. If they want to make a change, they will. If they don’t, no level of complaining, arguing, or harassment will make them change; in fact, they may stick to their guns even harder when pushed. Believe me, I’ve been down this road with a few of my friends and you won’t win. People will only make a change in their lives when they are ready. They will not change because you want them to. Take care of yourself and make the changes you decide to make in your life. It will be difficult, but you’ll get there. I wish you well on your journey.

Until next time…

Dave

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Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Living the Detached Life.

Tags

Attachment, change, David Allen, Detachment, Flux, Impermanence, Mind like Water, Suffering, The Buddha

“The root of suffering is attachment.”  – Buddha

I wanted to discuss the character trait of detachment today. Detachment is not a passive state of mind. Detachment doesn’t mean that you don’t care about achieving things or finishing projects. Detachment is a state of mind that does not rely on an idea, material item, or outside circumstances or person. Detachment allows a person to be free from desire. Following the Buddhist mindset, detachment frees us from suffering.

Think about how our reality is in constant flux. This flux means that your body, your possessions, your relationships, and even what you think you know today, will change. Anything that changes is, by definition, an illusion. Subsequently, if you attach yourself to things that will change, you are just asking for pain and suffering. David Allen, author of Getting Things Done provided one of the best explanations for this state of detachment. His statement about having a “… mind like water…” is the best explanation of a detached state. Think about that for a moment. Water does not overreact to anything. It reacts exactly enough to accommodate changes to its environment. When you throw a pebble into a pond, the pond accepts the pebble without over compensating to the entry of the pebble through the water’s surface tension. Once the pebble has passed through the water, it generates a wave that expands outward from the point of entry. This expansion is equal and consistent. Once the ripples dissipate, the water returns to its normal state. It accepts change, reacts just enough to accommodate the change, and then returns to its original state.

A mind like water can be the same as the pond. Something happens with your job, your health, a relationship, or something you depend on. It upsets you for a moment. Like the pond, you let your mind return to your state of calm. It takes time to develop this mentality, but if you realize that nothing is permanent in life and accept this premise, life smooths out. The changes come but they do not adversely affect you as much. You react like anyone does when a loss comes. You are angry, upset, sad, for a time, but that time period is much shorter than someone who has not achieved this state of mind—the detached mind. You enjoy what you have when you have it, but when it goes away, you remain grateful.

When you pursue something, enjoy achieving a goal, we can use the same mindset. You enjoy the victory for a moment but realize that it is time to pursue another goal. The pursuit provides meaning in our lives. It gives us something to work toward. It is the time during the pursuit where the growth happens. We learn a new skill; we learn a new discipline; we learn a new way of solving problems. This we can carry with us for the rest of our lives.

Attachment causes suffering. It sets us up for failure because whatever you own, including your own body will atrophy and fade away. To avoid this, remember who and what you are. You are not the body. You are not the mind. You are a soul. Notice the wording. I did not say it is your soul. That would signify that your body owns a soul. That is not true. The soul uses a body. No one owns or possesses a soul. You are soul and it has a body for its use during this lifetime. This may take a while to wrap your mind around, because using the phrase: “my soul or your soul” is so common in today’s society.

If you can accept this idea—that you are soul—your life will smooth out. You will lose your attachment to your body, your mind, your possessions, your job, your friends and relatives. You will lose your attachment to an ideology. None of these things will last. You are only “using” them while you are here. When you pass away, die, or what I call translating, you merely move to a different state of consciousness. Your body doesn’t come with you. Your possessions don’t come with you. Your relatives don’t come with you. You leave your money, your toys, and your loved ones at some point. So, enjoy these things while you have them. There’s nothing wrong with being grateful for what you have now. Detachment will relieve a great deal of pain, when these things inevitably go away. A detached state of mind knows of our fleeting existence here. It knows that nothing is permanent. It expects nothing. It accepts the blessings that are present and strives for the sake of striving, because the striving is where the experience, learning, and growth are. Whatever happens, because of this striving, is not of concern.

Well, I’ve given you a lot to think about. Try getting your mind wrapped around some points I’ve made here. You’ll find that your life will take on a new meaning and you will be ok when things you depended on go away. (They all will at some point).

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wednesday Wisdom – Attached to Suffering

Tags

Advertising, Attachment, Buddha, Marketing, News, social media, Suffering, wisdom

“Attachment is the source of all suffering” – The Buddha

Is there something in your life that you do not like? Does your job suck? Are you not making enough money? Are your relationships toxic? Are you unsatisfied with your image in the mirror? Final question: Why?

In most cases we have what we need. We may not have what we want, but we have what we need. We have a place to lay our heads at night; we have enough food to eat, and we have some means of making a living. Why are so many people suffering?

We suffer because we are resisting change. We resist changes to our body as we age. We resist changes to our employment when it’s time to move on. We resist changes in our relationships (i.e. it’s time to move on or accept that we weren’t right for the person who left us).

I used to suffer. I used to suffer from want and need. Then, I ran across this quote above and decided that I should change my mindset. I took a few times to understand this. Greed caused my two bankruptcies. I wanted things I could not afford and borrowed more than I should have to get the things I wanted, which today, I don’t even own.

Why do we buy things? Because we are unsatisfied. We are missing something. Both feelings come from being bombarded by marketers who are fighting for our attention and money. They show us pictures and videos of things we should have, places we should go, the diet we should be on, the food we should eat, the supplements we should take, the deals we’re missing out on. All this advertising has a huge effect on our psyches. It is constant, persistent, and all-encompassing. If you think this does not impact you, think again.

How do we avoid it? We can avoid social media, we can avoid the news, and we can avoid mindless surfing of the web. We can choose the sources of information we use and get rid of the rest. I enjoy social media but only spurts. I’m literally on social media for a few minutes in the morning and the evening. The same goes for the news. I scan the news for about 10 minutes in the morning while I enjoy my first cup of coffee. The rest of the day I am spending my time on the tasks that are important to me: Reading, Writing, Programming, Meditation, and Exercise. These are my Big 5. Everything else is secondary.

We can also develop a sense of gratitude and thankfulness. It takes time to develop this habit because we are told constantly that we don’t have enough and told we aren’t enough. We are missing something that the couple in an advertisement has. That couple by the way aren’t a couple, their bodies aren’t that perfect but photo-shopped, and that sailboat they are on is not theirs. It’s all made up. It’s all designed to make you feel you are missing something. If they convince you that you are, you just bought what they are selling or something like it to fill in this “make believe” gap in your life. A gap that isn’t even real. Do you understand how insidious this is?

Look, don’t get me wrong. I understand that marketing and advertising is needed. They tell us what is out there in case we are looking. What I’m describing is the effect these advertisements have on us and why they are so harmful. They create the suffering the Buddha talks about. We become attached to the idea that we don’t have enough; we aren’t enough, and the only way to fix us is to pursue more money, more things, which require us to work harder and harder to pay off the bills we keep adding to. It is a vicious cycle that most people never, ever get out of.

If you are tired of feeling crappy all the time, tired of running subconsciously on a rodent’s exercise wheel, take charge of yourself and your life. Take time to take inventory of what you have and express thanks for your life, your health, your family, your place of residence, and the job you have. None of them are perfect, but they are yours. You really don’t need another pair of shoes, a brand-new car, a new sound system for your home, or yet another bottle of protein or some powdered meal that will sit in your cupboard for the next year and gather dust.

Life is good. Be grateful for all you have. End your suffering by detaching from ideas and things, realizing that it will all change. It will change because everything in this life does. We change, our things change, our attitudes change, our ideas change, our relationships change. If you become detached, change is variety. Change is refreshing. Change is exciting.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Divine Spirit Steps In

Tags

Assistance, Dao, Divine Spirit, God, Guidance, Harold Klemp, Help, The Universe

You do what you can to make your life right. And when you have done 100 percent of everything you can do, Divine Spirit steps in with the miracle.

—Harold Klemp The Language of Soul

Have you ever had this happen? You work your tail off on something. It’s coming together but you need another person or another thing to come into place for your pet project to take off. Then, out of nowhere, you get exactly what you need.

I am a firm believer in persistence. I believe when we set ourselves to a project, we’ll get ideas for making it better. These ideas come from divine spirit, God, the universe, whatever you designate the higher power I believe exists. Our reality is about creation. When we create something, it aligns us with divine spirit, which is also a creator. This alignment opens us to divine spirit, which provides what we need, when we need it.

For some, this may be a little outlandish. For others, this is common knowledge. In my religion, we call divine spirit, the ECK. You may call this divine spirit, the Holy Ghost, the Dao, or many titles. The ECK is pervasive, eternal, and exists in matter, energy, space, and time and without these lower world phenomena. The ECK, like divine spirit is the communication medium used between God and Soul.

Like all things, the mind is our filter. We need the mind to live in this reality. Whatever your mind believes, you are right (Henry Ford, paraphrased). So, if you believe in God and divine spirit, you are right. If you do not believe in God or divine spirit you are also right. This posting is not designed to change your mind about these things, just my humble explanation of what I believe to be true.

Keep your eyes and ears open when you engage in something. You could be solving a problem, pursuing your dreams, or taking on a big project. Watch what happens when you really put yourself into these things. The right people will show up, the right ideas will reach you, and you’ll take the right actions to accomplish it. If you make a mistake, you’ll think about how to correct it, learn from it, and keep moving forward. Everything will fall into place. Just keep pushing forward. There will always be one more door to walk through, one more step to climb, or one more bit of polish to add. If you keep progressing, divine spirit will keep sending you ideas, options, and new avenues to take.

I hope all of you have a terrific Wednesday! I’ll be working on writing, reading, learning, programming, exercising, and meditating. See you at the finish line!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday -How We React is What Matters

Tags

Awareness, Balance, Detachment, Filters, Internal Maps, Negativity, Positivity, Reaction, reality

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”—Epictetus

There are so many things that happen to us that are out of our control. We get sick. We suffer during national disasters. The people in our lives betray us.

I’ve been doing a lot of research on the mind and have learned a great deal. Each of us has an internal filter. This filter causes us to miss, alter, or even delete the inputs we receive from our environment. This filtering is both unconscious and automatic. If our filter is healthy, there are no problems. If our filter is unhealthy, there are all kinds of problems.

Some people can look at a situation and see the good in it, regardless of the circumstances. Others could look at the same situation and see the worst. All of us do this. We test our environments and make judgements. These judgements affect the way we interpret our lives.

Have you ever noticed how some people are always experiencing one disaster after another? Everything seems to go wrong. Their health is bad, their outlook is mainly negative, and they expect the worst. The people in their lives cause problems, their decisions cause problems. All of this occurs because of their internal wiring. Because their perceptions and filters are on automatic, they cannot change what they see. Their lives perpetuate a vicious cycle because that’s all they can see.

The opposite of this person is someone who walks through life in bliss. Everything they touch turns to gold. Anything they try to do yields results. Their relationships are healthy. They are healthy. Their outlook is positive. Like their counterpart above, they automatically look for the good and this is what they get.

Most of us fall in between these two individuals. Some things that happen to us we feel bad about while other things happen that we feel good about. All of us have that weakness or outlook that plague us.

Regardless of our internal filters or maps, we all deal with reality. Reality is. Things happen to us. Our reaction to this reality dictates our mood. Some will look at a bad situation and see the good in it. Some will look at a bad situation and only see the bad. Some will rail against this reality and try to change it. They fail, become frustrated, and continue to complain about reality, which will not change.

What’s the solution to this problem? Acceptance and detachment. If we accept reality for what it is, we adapt to it. Detachment eases suffering. We expect nothing; we accept everything as it is. We can still set goals, pursue our interests, and strive for what we want, but remain in a detached state about our results. This detachment allows us to continue to strive and accept the results we have attained. Then we adjust and push forward again. We don’t get pissed; we don’t get ecstatic. We accept things for what they are, make the changes we can, and live with the rest in peace. We are in peace because our detachment allows us to be happy with what we have without expectation.

If you react to something in an inefficient or unhelpful manner, stop. Examine your internal processes. What triggers your reaction? If you can sit back and observe yourself being triggered, you can locate how you create this feeling. Once you understand how you create these inefficient feelings, you can change them. In most cases, once you realize something inside you that does not serve you, it will fade away. Your awareness is key.

I hope all of you have a terrific day!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesdays – Affirmations: Rewriting The Script

Tags

Affirmations, Alter, change, Create, habits, Replace, Rewiring, Routine

“May Light always surround you;
Hope kindle and rebound you.
May your Hurts turn to Healing;
Your Heart embrace Feeling.
May Wounds become Wisdom;
Every Kindness a Prism.
May Laughter infect you;
Your Passion resurrect you.
May Goodness inspire
your Deepest Desires.
Through all that you Reach For,
May your arms Never Tire.”
―D. Simone

Today we’ll talk about affirmations. We can use affirmations to rewrite faulty scripting, like all the negative things you tell yourself subconsciously. These faulty scripts tell us we are not good enough, not strong enough, not smart enough, etc. Whenever you resist something beneficial to you, it is the faulty scripting within you that is at work.

How do we rewrite our internal scripts? We rewrite them through repetition. We replace them with better, stronger, self-supportive scripts. We repeat affirmations out loud or speak them internally each day. They build, support, and strengthen us. We can create affirmations to patch the gaps in our internal software.

What do affirmations look like? I am healthy is one example. You could recite this one by itself or you could change it to look like this: “I am healthy because I eat nutritious foods and exercise every day.” We should write affirmations to express a state we want to be in right now. It should start with the phrase “I am.”

We are the way we are because of our internal scripts. We write these scripts throughout our lives and circumvent our ability to change, improve, or adapt new behaviors. Why? The brain does not like change. The brain likes things just as they are. Changing ourselves eats up a lot of energy. Thinking, changing, and altering all require huge amounts of energy.

We resist change because of this wiring. Each time you do something new or your thinking changes, the brain wires a circuit to automate that new task or idea. This wiring takes time and energy. Change requires the brain to create a new neural connection and destroy another. Let’s say you are trying to quit smoking or drinking to excess. The brain enjoys smoking and drinking because of the rewarding chemicals your brain produces each time you light up or have a sip of our favorite adult beverage. These habits are “hard-wired” into our brains because they are both repetitive and rewarding. To drop these habits, we have to replace the neural pathways the brain has created or let the brain decouple them when it determines we no longer need that neural pathway to survive.

Negative talk and resistance to change are also neural loops or pathways that are hard-wired into our brains. They are strong because the brain wants to protect us. Change to your brain is scary. In some people, change is fearful because change invokes the fight-or-flight mechanism in the oldest part of our brains. When this mechanism kicks in we sweat, we tense up, and our pupils dilate. We may shake with uncontrollable fear. If you have ever witnessed someone who gives a public speech, who has never spoke publicly before, you’ll see this mechanism kick in.

To change your life, you must build new neural pathways that support positive changes. One way to do this is to assume you are what you want to be. To act “as if”. If you want to be healthy, you must act as if you are healthy. Affirmations start this process. Affirmations get us to visualize what we want to be. Positive self-talk replaces the negative messages we tell ourselves unconsciously.

Here are a few examples you can try:

I am healthy.

I am calm.

I am happy.

I am smart.

One exercise you can do every day is to write your affirmations 15 times a day. Writing your affirmations down while reciting them is a powerful tool. It is powerful because it repeats and it engages your mind and your body (hand write them, don’t type them). Do this exercise every day at the same time. This daily affirmation exercise will bring about positive changes in your life. It will “rewire” you to be better. Stick with it. Don’t give up. Take the 5 or 10 minutes this requires. It is worth it.

You have the freedom to change these affirmations any time you wish. I would stick with your first set for a month. You can couple these affirmations with action. Let’s say you want to feel better. You want to start an exercise program. So, you write “I am healthy” in the morning 15 times, reciting these words as you write them in your journal. You also walk for 20 minutes each day, meditate for 10 minutes a day, and eat one healthy meal filled with nutritious fruits, vegetables, and a lean protein. You track all these habits by creating a repeating list of these items you check off each day. Try this for 30 days. Write 1) walk for 20 minutes; 2) meditate for 10 minutes; 3) eat one salad each day; and 4) write my daily affirmation “I am healthy” 15 times a day. As you accomplish each one of these things, check them off. Before you go to bed at night, write these 4 things on a list for the next day.

If you have failed to make a change in your life before, give this exercise a try. It works. I have been doing this for years and it has brought great changes to my life. Once you figure out how to rewire your brain, you can literally do whatever you want. You can make changes and they will stick. You can recreate yourself and recreate your life.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesdays – We Create Our Own Hell

Tags

Drowning, Empathy, Exploit, Helplessness, satisfaction, The Pit, Unchanging

“Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” ―John Mark Green

My Mom and I were talking about some people we have run across during our lives. Some of these people are just stuck. They neglect themselves and wake up one day in a pit that is so deep they cannot get out. Some of these people persist in the escape. Others give up and get comfortable.

I remember the scene in the movie Titanic where all the passengers are in the icy waters of the Atlantic. They are frantic and terrified. One of these passengers attempts to use Rose to stay afloat, pushing Rose’s head under the water. Jack arrives on the scene and punches the passenger, rescuing Rose. The people you run into that are drowning in their self-constructed pits, will try one of two things. If they are trying to escape their self-constructed pit, they will try to use you as a stepladder. If you let them, they will suck you into the pit with them. If they are one of those people that have given up, they’ll invite you in and try to get you to stay for a while.

All of us have empathy. We feel each other’s pain. If one of our friends is in trouble, it is natural for us to reach out and help. Unfortunately, the person I have described above will not appreciate your help. They are “happy” with their lot in life. Their pit is comfortable for them. They may tell you they want to change, but deep down they do not, will not, or cannot change. They have dug a pit so deep, they will not escape from it.

When you run across a friend that wants your help, help them. Give them some advice. Point them to a book or a blog article they could read. Send them an online class or a YouTube video that has a “how to” to help them with their problem. Watch what they do with this help. If they follow your advice, awesome! You have a friend that truly wants to help themselves. If you follow up with them in a day, or they follow up with you, ask them how the video, blog posting, or YouTube video was and what they have done to solve their problem. If they have done nothing with it, you probably have a friend who is the person I described above. They will not change and are happy with their current circumstances.

It is frustrating to deal with people like this. They say they want help but do nothing with the help or advice you give them. A week, a day, a month, or a year from now, they will still be in the same or worse place. Why? Because they are happy where they are. They are comfortable in their pit. Their pit is horrible to people like you and I, but they have adapted. They have made do. Their pit is so comfortable that they no longer have the courage or ability to leave. Cut these people loose. They are so convinced that their pit is a nice place, they will continue to pull you in. Leave these people alone. They will not change. You cannot save them. They are happy living in the hell they have created.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – The Simple Things

Tags

Peace, Reading, rituals, Simple Things, solitude, Tranquility, wisdom, Writing

“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”―Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

I took quite a few years to realize the wisdom Paulo Coelho refers to in this quote. Like, all young men, I sought fame, glory, and riches. I had a terrific military career in the Army, spanning 20 years. When I retired, I transitioned into technical recruiting, my second career. This career was very lucrative and set me up for an early retirement. Now I am pursuing a third career in writing, teaching, and writing programs for the web and mobile devices.

I enjoyed making a lot of money but discovered it was empty, at least for me. When my Dad’s illness kicked in, I returned home to help my folks. My days are simple, yet productive. I work through my daily routine, enjoy a few cups of coffee and good meals (I love to cook), and really enjoy the solitude and peacefulness that accompany my morning journaling. During the winter months it is even more special because the warmth of my coffee is a stark contrast to the cold on the other side of my living room window.

I used to use a desktop computer only for my work. Now I find my laptop to be a better companion. It allows me to enjoy different parts of my home as I work through my daily rituals. My core activities are exercise, meditation, journaling, working on my book projects, and working through various online courses, pursuing my varied areas of interest. I take my laptop everywhere, especially the coffee shops I enjoy going to.

My life is simple but rich. I take comfort in my routines and my little joys. I enjoy a warm cup of coffee in the morning. I enjoy the peace that accompanies my writing. I am engaged when I am learning new coding techniques and other topics. One of my greatest joys is relaxing while I read. Reading is a true joy, particularly when I am learning something new, or engrossed in a story.

When you slow down, you notice the little things that make life a grand experience. Petting the family dog, eating a meal with your family, conversations in the morning over coffee, looking at the snow, and enjoying those moments you realize how terrific life is. The simple things in life are the things that make life worth living.

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Discovering Latent Skills

Tags

Boredom, Building Skills, Creating Your Day, Habit Formation, Latent Skills, Research, rituals

“I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.” – Lucille Ball

Read more at: Brainy Quotes

Boredom

This quote got me thinking about different times in my life. I recalled a time when my life was very predictable. I would get up, go to work, come home, drone out in front of my TV and go to bed. It was comfortable but boring.

Our brains automate everything. The brain doesn’t like change. The brain uses a lot of energy to alter the patterns or grooves it wires for itself. Each time you do something new, the brain creates a neural pathway to automate that action. If you perform this action over and over, the brain continues to reinforce that pathway until it becomes automatic. This process occurs over and over again subconsciously. The brain resists change because the creation and reinforcement of these neural pathways eats up a lot of the brain’s energy. Your brain is always trying to automate things to conserve energy. Our brains love being static. The less energy your brain uses the happier it is. Changing things is hard and requires consistency for the changes you make to take hold.

Change

If life bores you, you might explore for things you could do differently. Do you have any hobbies? Do you read? Do you do any writing? Do you exercise? Do you create any art? Do you play an instrument? These are things I questioned when I was exploring for something new in my life.

You are unique. You have more talent than you know. Each of us comes into this world with active talents and latent talents. Active talents are those talents we develop out of necessity. Latent talents are those we have but are unused or undiscovered. How do we find these talents if we do not know what they are? We can find our hidden talents by trying new things.

Discovering Latent Talents

My search started with the Internet. I wanted to know the things I could do to add spice to my life. I wanted to find things that other people were doing to add flavor and excitement into their lives. I wanted to find things to do that would assist me with generating an income I could earn on my own, without having to go to a company or work for another boss. I wanted more control over my life, and I wanted to be doing something that built a life with a solid foundation. A foundation that would fulfill me and provide me with an income.

Next, I wanted to find out what successful people were doing with their lives. What is Tim Ferris, Bill Gates, and other successful people doing? What was the template? To learn about these people, I read. I read articles about morning rituals, evening rituals, habits and their formation, planning and goal setting. I saw a pattern emerge. Successful people concentrated their efforts on those things that provide the greatest benefit to their lives.

I followed the advice these people were offering. This led to reading more books, chasing after meditation, writing, exercise, reading, and lifelong learning. I saw areas in my life that needed improvement and discovered things I would like to try. This led me to writing.

Writing was something I liked early in life but never really pursued. I used to be a huge Dungeons and Dragons fan. To run a game for my friends, I had to create entire worlds from scratch. I had to create characters, scenes, and dungeons, filled with monsters for my players to fight. I had to create plot lines that would react and evolve with my player’s actions. Then, I joined the Army and my childhood writing ceased.

Another area I discovered during my search for latent skills and change was computer programming. I love video games. I don’t play a lot. These games are very addictive and eat up a lot of time. I play them, however, and because I play them, I became interested in how they work. This led me to reading about programming, earning a bachelor’s and a master’s degree in IT, and dabbling in programming languages throughout. Again, I didn’t take these skills to the next level.

When I retired in 2016, I learned why people who retire get bored. They no longer have an organization giving them things to do. There is no structure in their lives, other than what they structure. I decided after a few months of piddling around that I needed a daily structure of doing things to build new skills and pursue paths towards residual income. I had to choose paths that would allow me to work, build content, and sell that content for the rest of my life. Writing and programming became my focus. These were two latent skills I uncovered by accident.

Building Skills

This is a wonderful time to be alive. Technology allows all of us to find information we seek. Technology has also altered the education landscape. To build my writing and my programming skills, I needed to find out who was teaching these things and work towards proficiency. I found multiple resources for writing and programming and have built in daily activities to achieve my goals. My goals are to build a large following for my blog and write books. I also want to build programs and applications that will serve people in ways unavailable to people now or improve on existing applications that are good but could be better.

Using all the knowledge I gained around goal setting, planning, habit formation, and daily rituals (collections of habits that are synergistic), I planned a daily regimen of writing, programming, reading, exercising, meditating, and learning. Applying what I learned has helped me plan a fulfilling day of activities that help me forge ahead toward my goals.

You Can Do It

Anyone can do what I’ve done. It really starts with the motivation to change your life. Are you bored like I was? Is something missing in your life? Get out there and look. Experiment with different areas you are interested in. You may find some hidden talents you never knew existed. Once you have clues that uncover one talent or another, get out there and find the resources you need to improve these skills. All that’s left is figuring out how to monetize these skills so you can continue to support yourself.

I hope each of you takes risks. I hope each of you pursues the things that interest you and excite you. I hope each of you attain your dreams. I hope you pursue all the things you want in this life and avoid the regret that accompanies a life of inaction, mediocrity, and fear. Take risks, explore, and try things out. You’ll never know what your life could truly be, if you don’t get out there and try.

Until next time…

Dave

 

Daily Ramblings – Wisdom Wednesday – Exploring the Unknown

Tags

Advice, Inner voice, Muse, Nudge, Regret, Suggestion, The Void, Thriving

“The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.” Arthur C. Clarke

Read more at: Brainy Quotes

Anything we do with our lives should be at the fringes of our capability. Anyone can continue to do what they are comfortable doing. The excitement lives in our ability to travel into unknown areas and conquer them. This is thriving.

All of us aspire to something better. We want to see new places, learn new things, and have new experiences. All of us are natural explorers. Take any person and put them into a new surrounding and they immediately look around and assess their environment. We all do this. When we investigate a new environment, we are alive. We are using every capability we have.

None of us grow when we lack a challenge. Instead, we stagnate. The mundane and calming existence we all crave from time-to-time, becomes like a prison. This prison is mediocrity, comfort, and changelessness. No one is happy in these circumstances. The mundane evolves to boredom.

When I examine my life, I see periods of growth and periods of rest. I also see periods of decline in certain areas. I have also noticed something else. I noticed a “something” in me that is always making suggestions. It is a still voice that gives me little nudges. These nudges, when I act on them, have resulted in some of the best times in my life. One characteristic about each of these nudges is the absolute chaos that ensues when I take the first step.

Chaos always results when we try something new. The unknown is frightening. We don’t know what to do; we don’t know where to turn; we don’t know what will happen. We make lots of mistakes, stubbing our toes, bruising ourselves, as we bumble about trying to adapt to our new environment. After we orient ourselves and explore this new area, we find out that most of our fears were for nothing. Then we get a nice boost. We feel a new confidence arise from stepping into the void and surviving one more time. Then we rest and look for the next area of the void to explore.

Listen to this inner voice. It will typically provide solutions to your problems you never knew were there. It will point you in the right direction. Use your discrimination when you hear this advice. You always want to have a confirmation that the advice you are receiving is right. In my case, I typically receive one or more confirmations I have made a good choice.

These confirmations can be in the form of reading something in a book, hearing something on a radio, or the same suggestion coming from friends or family members. While you are waiting for confirmations to arrive, take a few steps. These first few steps are always scary. Once you take a few steps, however, you will get a feeling you are doing the right thing. I can’t explain it. It is more like a knowing. You know you are doing the right thing for yourself.

Life is a fleeting thing. Some people find themselves at the end of their lives with lots of regrets. They regret asking that beautiful woman out on a date; they regret ignoring the book idea they had; they regret starting that business. They regret ignoring the inner voice and ended up living a life of comfortable boredom.

When does this inner voice speak? I find my inner voice speaks during the quiet times. It speaks when I am reading a book. It speaks when I am thinking. It speaks when I am working on my blog or my book. Some call this inner voice our conscience, Others call it God. Still others call it the muse. Whatever you think it is, it is there. It is there for all of us. One thing I know for sure. The more you listen to this voice, the louder it becomes. This voice is not like the voices of your friends or family. It is like an idea that pops into your mind. That’s the best way I can explain it. My voice has always been a nudge. It is like a suggestion that comes out of nowhere.

Take time today to listen for this voice. Ask a question, present it a problem, or ask it for advice. Listen. Be patient. Wait. The answer will come. It always comes.

Until next time…

Dave