Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Little Johnny and His Teacher

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Funny Friday, Giggle, Grin, Joke, Laugh, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

A teacher is teaching a class, and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”

Johnny says, “None.”

The teacher asks, “Why?”

Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.”

The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”

Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?”

The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.”

Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

The Laugh Factory

Have a great Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – The Praying Lion

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny Friday, Giggle, Laugh, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

Two guys are walking through a game park and they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.” He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the lion saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”

The Laugh Factory

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Five Cows

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Friday, FriYAY, Fun, Giggle, Laugh, Relax, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replied, ” Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head.” The final baby walks over and says, “Duh huh guh nuh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Cinderblock.”

The Laugh Factory

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Old Man on the Highway

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Party, Relax, Snicker, Weekend

There is a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ”Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!” Herman says, ”I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!”

The Laugh Factory

Have a great Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – A Bug in the Soup!

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Laugh Factory, Snicker, Weekend

A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”

“That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies.

After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

Have a great weekend, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Adam and Eve

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Chuckle, Friday, FriYAY, Funny, Giggle, Laughter, Smile, Snicker

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question, and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

Laughter is a wonderful thing. Take some time on Friday to laugh. To really chuckle about something. Watch a funny movie, read the comics, or check out your favorite comic on Netflix. I hope you have a terrific Friday and a great weekend!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – My Favorite Gift

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Chuckle, Friday, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Snicker

Three brothers wanted to give their blind mom a birthday gift. The first got her a big beautiful house. The second got her a brand new luxury vehicle with a driver. The third got her a talking parrot to keep her company. When they all got together, they wanted to know which gift she liked best. She said they were all great but she thanked her third son because she liked the chicken dinner best.

Courtesy: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/family-jokes/6

Have a great Friday, folks!

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – The Burgler and the Parrot.

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Chuckle, Friday, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Smile, Snicker, Weekend

Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, “Jesús is watching you.” He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, “Jesús is watching you.” In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, “Was it you who said Jesús is watching me” The parrot replied, “Yes.” Relieved, the burglar asked, “What is your name?” The parrot said, “Clarence.” The burglar said, “That’s a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?” The parrot answered, “The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús.”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

I hope you got a good laugh out of this one. Have a great weekend, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Fish and Potatoes

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Chuckle, Friday, Fun, Funny, Giggle, Laugh, Relaxation, Snicker, Weekend, Witty

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!” A pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam fish.'” The boy responds, “Because I caught these fish at the local dam.” The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, “I didn’t know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way.” He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later, at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, “That’s the spirit, Dad! Now pass the fucking potatoes!”

Courtesy: The Laugh Factory

Have a great Friday, folks!

Until next time…

Dave

Daily Ramblings – Funny Friday – Menopause

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Chuckle, Fun, Funny Friday, Giggle, Laughter, Relax, Snicker, Weekend

Two men are talking and one says to the other, “My wife’s doctor says she has menopause, and, man, has she been moody lately. How long do the symptoms of menopause usually last?” The other man replies, “Let me put it this way: menopause will be listed as the cause on your death certificate.”

Courtesy: The Laughfactory

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Until next time…

Dave