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Some days I am very nostalgic. I think about my life and all the things that have occurred. There are some times where I was on top of the world; at other times I was in a pit. The pit is where nothing works, nothing is right, nothing is all there is. Some have labeled these times periods as the “dark night of soul.”

There are a lot of blogs that people write to overcome a trauma. These blogs range from topics like dealing with various diseases, unfaithful mates, and other topics that are troubling to people. Many are experiencing their own dark times and use blogging as a tool to climb out of the pit they find themselves. This is healthy. Working yourself out of your personal dark times is something that inspires others who may be experiencing the same thing.

Dark times can span a short period of time. They can also span many years. It really depends how deep a person’s pit is. I would wager that there are a few people who enjoy the pity that comes to them when they are experiencing dark times and stick around longer than needed. There is still a smaller population that finds themselves in the pit and don’t want to leave. They’d prefer the “safety” of the pit, rather than digging themselves out and experiencing something new that is too frightful.

My experience during dark times has always been transforming. I have experienced my share of dark times throughout my life. Each time I find myself in these types of situations, I recognize where I am and begin planning ways to escape. I test out each one in my mind and then choose one that has the best chances of turning my situation around.

A certain level of pride comes from escaping or resolving the times we are in those dark times. It feels good to stand up, dust ourselves off, and begin anew. Yet, there are still some who cling to what they know and never escape. Their dark times become the new norm. Instead of escaping their pit, they begin decorating it, surrendering to this new lot in life.

How do you get out of the dark times? The dark times call for a change. They require a change because this is the only way to get out. The dark times come when something—more than one thing – collapses. Perhaps you’re living beyond your means, or you’ve put too much faith in another person. When these unsustainable situations collapse in on themselves there is a feeling that we are trapped, like an insect in a spider’s web. In one of my situations, I couldn’t help but have the feeling of walking off a cliff and not being able to stop myself. We get out of our dark times by making a decision to change our way of thinking and doing things differently.

Sometimes we need help to get out of our personal pits. We need the help of a psychiatrist or counselor. At other times we may need a financial advisor, medical professional, or a family member. Sometimes the shock of our dark times requires an entire change of mindset. Whatever you do during the dark times requires a change. A change of circumstances, a change of location, a change of values, a change in diet, or a change of employers.

To escape the pit, you must want to escape. No one can do it for you. The only way out of the dark times is to look for a way out. Once you do, things will get better.

For those of you experiencing the “dark night of soul”, I wish you well on your journey. It is a tough time. It will get better. It always does.

Until next time…

Dave