“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.” – Winston Churchill
Have you ever run into someone who was just an outright bully? If so, this is a great quote. If you’ve ever investigated or read about WWII, this statement is all about Neville Chamberlain and his dealings with Adolph Hitler. This quote also applies to us.
Ignoring or trying to please someone who is bullying, attacking, or trying to undermine you in any way, only strengthens their position. If you think you’ll make them go away because you try to win them over by letting them step all over you, you are making a huge mistake. This will only encourage the bully more.
When dealing with a bully, you have two choices: 1) Get away from them and leave the situation where you and they have to interact (place of work, etc.); 2) Stand up to them.
Getting away from a bully will work because you diffuse the bully’s ability to continue doing what they are doing because you are no longer in their proximity. You quit the job you have with them, quit the group you are involved with or move out of your apartment complex. Unfortunately, this only inconveniences you and perpetuates that person’s behavior toward other victims.
Standing up to a bully is your better bet. If you’re in a workplace, you can report them to your human resources department, particularly if your boss is the bully. You can also try to work this out by explaining to them that their actions are offensive to you.
Bullying can occur anywhere. It can be in a line at the market, at your gym, or even at the local park where you are walking your pet. Bullying occurs everywhere, even online. I’m not advocating picking a fight with someone, but I am advocating standing up for yourself, even if that requires you to solicit help from your friends or another person who has the authority to make the bullying stop.
Do not let a bully ruin your life. They are normally operating on fear and anger (both are the same) level. Stand up to them and don’t let them ruin your life. If you do, they win and will continue this behavior against other people, including your friends and loved ones if you are in the same circle.
If you’re in the United States, here’s a great website that can offer you professional advice and tools to handle this type of thing: https://www.stopbullying.gov/
I highly recommend you talk to someone if this is occurring in your life. There is help available. No one should have to put up with this.